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Be honest about how you are feeling. I would articulate your needs. It sounds as though you need more connection during the week. Maybe one or both of them comes to visit you mid week? Perhaps creative ldr type solution like chatting or texting while watching the same thing on TV... playing a...

I'm a big fan of getting to know my metamours but each person is different. If you want to be friendly, I would put that out there but don't hold it against her if that's not her style. Everyone is different. In the past I've had metas that were closer friends and some that wanted no contact...

In the 90 s my live in boyfriend was also dating his boyfriend. This set up worked for us. Jake and I were friends we both loved Marc and he loved us. We grew up and moved apart amicably, but I learned I loved the multi person connection in a relationship. I didn't have a name for it then. I...

Lady and real and I met through a swinging construct, but varied feelings developed between all three of us. Lady and I had feelings but she had lots of issues regarding how a sexual/romantic/emotional bond with another woman affected her identity. Yet meanwhile real and I fell deeply intensely...

Due to lady and I both being teachers we are very discrete but when asked we simply state the truth about our relationship. Most often the people asking are just curious and/or concerned that we are in ethical relationships where everyone needs are met. Ie her husband isn't cheating and...

I steal the kiddos for the night so they have no worries kid free time together. Granted I do this for my close friends as well. Otherwise a card or simple acknowledgment is fine.

I think asking for a short break can be reasonable. But I also think that the break time should be set up to enable time for on issues and not overly limiting to the development of all the relationships. I recently asked real to wait a week before having sex with his new fwb to give me time...

We each have to make choices on our own to manage our relationships. However, I would think long and hard about making a choice that relies on a third party's behavior to get to my desired end result. You cannot predict said outcome and it sets up a really entangled dynamic in a polyship. On...

Back to texting technicalities Texting / receiving texts at ill timed moments can be annoying. We turn off text notification on official date nights, though we do stop and check them during down times etc. I leave my ring er on though. Our policy is that emergencies come through voice. I...

Asparagus thanks for list of things to think on. Now I have more to put on my list! Yes we are looking long term partner. Lady and I occasionally play together already but we are looking for emotional love share life stuff. We are all three reading and talking through more than two. Kevin -...

vee thinking of moving to triad Lady Real and I had a long talk last night about exploring changing our structure to an open triad. We've flirted with this option before and needed to step back for a bit. After working on stuff (communication styles, personal needs for physical affection etc)...

third I also hate the term third. Even in hierarchical terms (which I loathe), I would see the non legally married / later arriving person as a second relationship to each person in the preexisting couple. Being labeled third in this instance would mean that person is categorized as lower...

I suppose in a way I'm a bit of a unicorn. I met real and lady a few years back through a swinger site where we were all looking for some recreational sex. Then, there were feelings! Real and I have a very intense connection. And lady soon realized that she was not nearly as bi as she had...

I would love to respond to your survey but as I am not the legally married partner your questions lead me to believe my input is not wanted or needed.

common law marriage Check about your states regulations regarding common law marriage. In Texas a commitment ceremony could qualify as common law marriage ie representing as married can equal legal marriage. This would screw any immigration proceedings for the second. Just fyi. Not sure how...

Sirreal sucks at scheduling. Thus lady and I set up a shared calendar. We also all 3 discussed our needs and reached agreement about visits etc as things became more serious. When I first started dating sirreal, overnights were sporadic and he scheduled with me. Or got back with me after I...

finances I really appreciate your sharing about how you have a finance meeting. This is something we are working on and your post here was helpful for us. Thanks!

Yes we are in it for the long haul. Fox is very mono and vanilla. He has met the kids at game nights and such but had no desire to interact more and I respect this. I imagine that while fox and I are close and will always be close, he will find a mono lover to settle down with eventually. He...

I don't know if this is helpful, but my spending time with lady when sirreal and I were in NRE was very helpful to lady. It let her get to know me as a person and learn to trust that I had no motivation to damage or interfere negatively with their relationship. I was very fortunate that this...

folding in from an outside perspective I know we are very conscious of my presence effect on the kiddos (boy and girl 9 and 12 respectively) They were very attached to a previous partner who left suddenly and that caused them pain. Sirreal and lady worked hard to reassure them and talk with...