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Opalescent, you are right. Whether it is viewed from the point of view where this is a permanent part of her personality that is hurting her (and others around her) that she hasn’t developed the mechanisms to deal with healthily yet, or from the point of view where it is a behavior that she can...

I did miss phrase the poly-esque mindset part along with that whole paragraph that it was in, as I also misspoke in an earlier post on that subject as well. I was still trying to put what was going on in my head into words and I did not completely grasp it at the time. I believe that what I was...

I definitely agree that that is what I need to do. I have already wrote a letter that I was going to leave the night that I left that among other things focused on telling her of her inner strength. I do see one key difference between you and her though. You could already stand on your own in...

That is how she views it, and that stops me from being able to help her because she tells me that I should love her for her and not try to change her personality. I try to tell her that it is a defense mechanism that is completely separate from her personality, but she just can't see it. I also...

Wow, your ex sounds exactly like my little brother. She does not believe that he is tempting me to be gay or anything like that, and yes, I am male. She knows that it’s strictly platonic. That seems to almost make what you said somewhat more of a red flag. Although I knew she had...

Thank you, I think you hit the nail on the head so to speak. That is what I have been trying to figure out for the past several months. I have been trying to explore all of the options, which is one reason that I cam upon this forum. Thank you for your help.

She recognizes the problem. She really doesn't what to have it control her life anymore either. From her perspective, she sees it as an ingrained part of her that would require a change in her personality. I know that this is how it feels to her, but she is such a free spirit in other ways that...

Bookbug, I don't know if this is a mono culture thing, but I almost feel worse about "emotional cheating" than sexual cheating. No I have never done either, and neither has she. from what I understand, in a poly world, the theory is that each person has an infinite love to give and thus there...

She is not controlling towards me. She does, however, feel a need to control every little aspect of her world down to the nth degree so that she will never be caught off guard and put in a position where she is not safe. This stems from a fear of loss where her world was turned upside down in...

Continued from above This idea of polyamory has taken at least a year to inch its way into my mind. I consider myself to be a rather open person and even then, the possibility that I might be polyamorous has taken a while to take hold. Despite how much we do fulfill each other, I know that she...

This may be a little long winded, but I am trying to make sense of the last year of newly explored thoughts that are contrary to ideas that I have always held to be true. I apologies in advance if I end up writing a novel. Please bear with me as I am struggling with a few things right now and am...