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An even more challenging proposition is that he actually existed to begin with :D

I will gently invite you to consider the issue of "ownership." We cannot really "own" anybody - especially as it relates to emotions. Also, "sharing" is not something you should worry much about. Each love experience is different and unique. Love is not something that comes in a pre-set...

I haven't done online dating in a few years, but these are my thoughts. Honesty up front is always the best policy. But it will also limit the pool of potential dates greatly. Sure...you can find plenty of people who are poly or poly-oriented on dating websites. But you will also find...

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Thread hijack is welcome:D What that person did to you evoked strong feelings within me. Some people are just so unaware of their dishonesty and lack of integrity. Did he expect that you would suddenly develop super powers to know what was going on in his mind? Unbelievable....:mad:

That makes sense actually. The poly math is difficult to understand at times:D

So true! Oh well...now I know a little better:)

But do you ever wish deep in your heart that she actually had more time to spend with you? I guess I am not understanding how you think of each other as primary partners in your situation. Just curious....

So I've been doing some self-care lately. Found a good counselor which is helping me tremendously. I also joined a local poly group. Awesome people, great community, great source of support and knowledge. Quite frankly...wish I could have joined a poly group before I ever tried poly. It...

Wow, that woman's sense of reality was quite contaminated. Lots of manipulation, power control dynamics and way too much deception. So sorry you went through that hell.... It seems like deep honesty is very difficult for some people to achieve. I really wish my ex-GF would have said what...

Indeed. I've encountered some women who INSISTED against the use of condoms. I think there's a psychological thing for many people, connected with the idea of "giving oneself completely." Whether that's rational or not...well...that's another topic:D

Thanks so much!!!

I apologize for being overly harsh. Couldn't think of any better way to tell you that *this is not your fault.* Hang in there, and don't let any bitterness from this ordeal override your future will to trust people who will be more worthy of your trust. Sincerely, Kevin T. Thanks for your...

Exactly. That part of the whole thing affected me...because the expectation was that I was supposed to miraculously read her mind. Oh well...

I am currently reading both books. I wish I could have started reading Sex at Dawn first, as it has tons of scientific data explaining human sexual nature. The other book is very practical, which I love, but I can see it might be a bit too much for some individuals that may not have enough...

SEEKER2020 here. Just realized I failed to introduce myself before starting a thread on the other section. I'm a divorced male in my late-30s. I came to this forum mostly for support due to the recent break up of an important relationship after we gave Poly a try. You can read the story...

All good points. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are correct, none of the things I mentioned prepare everybody for openness. If anything - as you said - it might be the opposite for some people. I am still very angry and hurt, so there's defensiveness in my responses:eek: Perhaps I...

Thanks...your words felt good... Thanks so much for your thoughts, empathy and insights. It helped me a lot. The influence from her family is full of ironies. She comes from a family of cheating men and women that put up with them - but who are otherwise miserable. So these are the...

Also, what kills me about the whole thing is that there are so many boundaries in my relationship with my older friend: we live in different states, she's happily married with children, our age difference, etc. Not sure if my thinking is irrational, but the kind of Poly arrangement I was...

wow...if that's what happened to you...that sounds really horrible and painful. How can one survive that? Based on her account of how everything went down with her family, you are 100% correct. They essentially made her feel stupid and asked her to stop being my "door mat." The most ironic...