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You hit the nail on the head. She is talking and dating others, but no boyfriend yet. I still have anxiety about it, though. I miss her when she is gone. She just seems reluctant to reassure me and show me that I am special. I do those things on a daily basis (trust me, I've been married to...

It doesn't upset me, and I want to be there for her to discuss her frustrations. I've attempted a few different ways to communicate my needs and expectations to her. I have told her, and she has responded defensively. I have emailed her, and she initially was not defensive. However, she was...

An update: She didn't remain friends with him, as he faded away. We discussed the subject again last month, and agreed to meet each other's needs along the way. Her need is primarily reassuring her that this won't wreck our marriage. My needs are well documented in this thread, and she has...

Monos, why do we do it? I drew a lot of parallels from reading carl's and ThatRomanticGeek's posts from 2010. I could see if my wife revealed this to me while we were dating, but it's different when you are approached years after you have been married. In my case, she recently told me that...

I told her that I cannot give my consent anymore. She was very upset, but I stood my ground. She initially said that she would break it off, but she then asked me if I would be comfortable with them just being friends. I have a few concerns, because the sexual attraction is not something that...

I have suggested that she have casual sex for a brief period of time, but she says that would feel cheap and used if she did that. I have already considered that she will fall hard when it ends, and I suspect that she will not want it to end after a year. I honestly wish that I could get to this...

I choose to not be involved at all. I have been a member of one of this sites for some time now. The group is focused on the sexual excitement that men get from knowing that their wives have sex with other men. Since I do not get sexually excited by it, there is not much support on there for me...

I am not really sure, and it depends upon how much she takes my feelings into account. If she does that well, then perhaps I can take it for a year. When she said that it was just a mid-life crisis, I asked her if she saw herself doing this 2 years from now. She quickly said no While not...

Thank you so much for all of the support and advice. I feel quite alone in this, and you all have helped me feel better. I feel that it is jealousy. This has been the central point of our conversations. I have let her know what specific things that I need to hear from her at specific times, but...

I feel that it is poly related, as I did not feel this way before she started having a relationship with another man.

An update and request for more advice. My wife stopped pursuing other men for several months at my request. About 3 months ago, I told her that I was feeling as if I could accept it better now. She has started pursuing other relationships, and I am struggling again. The first post in this...

Thanks for the links to information about jealousy. There is a wealth of information on here, and it would take me a long time to find it all! I have identified that my feelings of jealousy arise from fear that I will be deprived of her time and attention and fear that what makes our...

I brought the subject up to her yesterday, and she explained her realistic expectations further. She described it more as a friend with benefits. Someone who she can hang out with and talk to (similar to a girlfriend), but also have sex with.

Being married for 28 years, I can say that I have learned that a woman's mind never stops thinking! Many thoughts in there are never shared with anyone else.

I can see where her being drawn to younger men is not an indicator. I was surprised to hear her use the term "mid-life crisis" and it wasn't in the context of the age of men she is attracted to. She has told me, and I can understand why, that she gets a huge ego boost when a younger man finds...

I am in the same place as you, and I only found this forum yesterday. I posted the details of my situation in a thread Mono/Non-Mono - Struggling to Accept. I have identified that my feelings of jealousy arise from fear that I will be deprived of her time and attention and fear that what makes...

We have discussed the idea of me not staying mono, and she has been the one to bring the subject up by asking me if I want to sleep with other women. It is usually in the context of how it would only be fair since she wants to explore sleeping with other men. I have always replied that I do not...

I had not thought of that, thanks for the insight about potentially falling in love. How did that change the dynamics for you, given that you were not prepared for it? Given that we plan for me to stay mono, do you think that will cause more issues? I purchased "Opening Up" about 2 weeks ago...

Thanks for clarifying that. My choice of words obviously state how I view my wife. A good first step for me to take in changing my mindset. We have been talking about safety concerns, but not if romance/emotional connections develop. She feels that it will be more casual than that. As far as I...

I realize how selfish I was, and I feel very ashamed that I asked her to do that for my gratification in the fist place. I now realize how she must have felt when she was in participating in my fantasy and reality. I can understand if she has feelings of resentment or betrayal because of that...