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I don't use nicknames Awpti has given me permission to name him. TheCerpent has given me permission to name him. I don't have permission to name the metamour and feel it would violate her privacy to identify her as her username includes identifiable information. All of the names I use are...

Perhaps I'm posting every other month it seems because the information coming my way seems to 180 every other month and I'm just not sure if this is normal or not. I figure if my distress is high it's because my coping skills aren't up to par and that I'm trying to figure out how other people...

Metamour made a comment to hinge "I can't wait until it's just you and me again." My anger keeps coming back up despite my logic. I pointed out if I ever said something like that, it would be seen as an attempt to cowboy the hinge away from his other partner. And I pointed out that he would...

Also this is going to seem totally random and without context but I guess there was some trouble with edits that have to happen after a post occurs for new members of the forum (Awpti and TheCerpent were going to join the conversation). I am not trying to bring the caregiver and patient into...

I do try to take things with a grain of salt. I am a logic based person only because it's how I combat my emotions. My resilience comes from using logic to push back irrational fears and emotions that would stop my forward progress. And yes I do expect other people to start using or developing...

After the replies I'm seeing to this post and some of the assumptions that aren't accurate, I've asked TheCerpent and Awpti if they'd be willing to chime in. Galagirl's assumption that I expect my partners to read my mind and Ravencroft's suggestion that Awpti is Narcisstic bother me. And I...

I agree with Dagferi's assessment and stance. I have not forbid my partners from doing anything and I don't care how far they take their relationships. I'd even be willing to consider sharing a communal home with metamours if everybody wanted it. Both arms of my vee have chosen at this time...

Ravenscroft, Generally I appreciate your input. But I think your statement is way off base here. He didn't know that suicide was a trigger for me before we started a relationship. And his spouse wasn't using suicide as emotional manipulation until about four months into our relationship that I...

Cont. I don't know what the future holds. I can't say things won't change. People don't truly know what's going to happen or what their choices are going to be until reality happens. But Awpti has consented to my future goals for us even though he didn't have any clear cut ideas of his own. If...

I could have done this as a private message but I thought about how often when I'm scared or uncertain that I've searched and searched the polyamory forum here and at reddit that I looked for information relevant to my situation. So I'm typing this out in case anyone else ends up in the same...

I hear you, Kevin. And I hear you, Galagirl. I could agree with your point (Galagirl) except I don't feel like I would be free of hurt. I feel like I would only be trading one hurt for another. I do not want to try polyamory again. My ill luck with metamours makes me distinctly opposed to...

I tried to do what everyone suggested and enjoy the period of calm. It lasted longer than I expected, to May from December. But hinge went home and caught metamour crying in the shower, where she indicated that she's been wearing a game face since December and that she still doesn't want to...

This quote amuses me, for I have twins and twins do not cause emotional vulnerability. They cause sleep deprivation. Granted, I have no idea if their twins are screaming in stereo but mine drove me into the closet (safe to leave baby in crib said my support group) to cry about the lack of...

This statement stood out to me because it should not matter whether there is a second person "on the hook" for a lifetime of parental obligations and support. I have always made my decisions for my body and the pregnancies I carried from the position of assuming I will have no support but my...

Awpti and his spouse started polyamory about 11 years ago, a year after they were married. His spouse advised him if they did not try polyamory that she would do it anyway. Their version of polyamory was, until about four years ago, what I would describe as open, less emotional. They had rules...

Here is the reading material I have used to guide my understanding for the past year: https://psiloveyou.xyz/confronting-abuse-in-polyamorous-relationships-f9e35eea4546 It is not the only thing but it is a large thing. Awpti's other relationships while engaged in polyamory and maintaining a...

Thank you. What I am seeing spoken in the posts are things I have been telling myself and some things, re the mental health that Lunabunny and Galagirl mentioned are things that I have been wondering as well. But as I am not a doctor, of course, I can't actually be certain nor even know if I am...

So, I know that some thought sending flowers to my metamour was too much. My metamour kept the flowers on the table and then sent our hinge with peach cobbler and her recipe to me after she found an old postcard I had sent her last year. I guess it altered her perspective. She scheduled their...

I think the one thing about polyamory that has stood out to me is the amount of processing it seems to bring related to self awareness. I still haven't mapped out boundaries of when I should walk per the last conversation on here. Metamour has written me a letter of apology and indicated she...

I'm so grateful you understand, Galagirl, Thank you I know I came for help, but I was feeling a little like I had to defend the relationship in addition to trying to be open to the help. I'm grateful that you understand the headspace that is valuable to me. And I agree with the things you and...