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Well, I've identified as a submissive in the bdsm culture since I about 2001. I never found anyone that felt right enough for me to trust with exploring that need until Awpti/the hinge in our vee. There were lots of people on Fetlife and in the kink culture and on OKCupid that wanted that role...

Emm, I do see what you're saying about how it's not a business contract but the fact is contracts are pretty well spelled out exactly for that reason. And I kind of wish there was a well defined social contract, I've read about those before. The year mark is Feb 2018 and I will reassess if I...

I do actually agree with you, that was a conclusion I came to on the drive home from work Thursday night when I got emotional. I discussed things with my other partner because I didn't know what conditions to set. I didn't like the three strikes rule and partner one/TheCerpent thought that was...

Well originally I never had boundaries in place for this type of circumstance. The only boundaries I had defined was: -I don't have the capacity to date casually or for fun, it's an interview process to me, like any resources I put into something that's obviously casual are resources I'd...

While I agree with the counseling advice, I think if I were to come on the forums complaining that a man who's been 11 years married with two children, one of them with duchenne's muscular dystrophy, won't divorce his other partner for someone who's been in a relationship with him for 9 months...

I would argue that our hinge was successful in making poly work with his wife because they live as a vee in their home with metamour and her boyfriend and husband. She has a successful polyamorous relationship as long as neither person that is her partner dates. They are still open. But I hear...

This does help. Thank you.

Rosephase, your post hurts the worst because it aligns with how I felt when he told me. I was heartsick that I lost my date night Wednesday without communication but was willing to let the fight for my boundary slide to help him have peace at home, I consoled myself with the reminder that I...

I can't make anyone do anything except for myself. I can express my concerns and ask. That doesn't mean he can always give me what I'm asking for. He makes decisions on the basis that it's easier to deal with my emotions rather than her anger. I had to inform him that just because I do not...

My metamour told our hinge that she hated me and that she hated every single person he had dated before me. She still insists she is not polyamorous. She had sent me an email to advise me of that. I pointed out either she was polyamorous (because she loves and lives with two partners) or she...

I read the replies. And I agree with the assessments and what has been said. It would have been easier if I could detach but I'm not at a point where I can imagine a future without this person. Though I have been seriously considering whether crumbs is better than nothing at all. And I have...

When metamour reacted with suicide threat and hinge pushed therapy for her, she waffled out and said she had no intentions of committing suicide as she had children. Hinge said he didn't want to piss her off pushing therapy and having to live with anger and a grudge so backed down from trying to...

He has never mentioned her using outbursts to get her way. What I have generally observed is when he tries to stand up for boundaries not determined by her that she falls back on her unstable emotional state and defines it as worry about other things. She deflects it to things unrelated to...

Like I don't want the relationship to end but I felt I needed to step back. I took the advice of the forum and tried to meet our shared partner and go out for our visitation. I was going to take us to a park so we could stargaze and then walk and drop him off at home. When she heard he was...

I perceive it as hostile because she does not want me over there. She doesn't like seeing me around him. This is not a situation as I would define as just going over to the house of a single parent. She doesn't want to see me. Just seeing me interact with her partner sets her off. I had a...

First, I'd like to thank the forum for helping me with the last difficulty. I thought the situation was resolving itself, as three weeks ago my metamour and I had a brief conversation where she gave me an unasked for apology and I confessed I had fears she would end the relationship. I thought...

I do NOT think my cognitive dissonance is wobbly. I think I do maintain my boundaries. And the pressure I feel is the stress of knowing that my maintaining of my boundaries is going to force a conflict, which I want to avoid. Especially if I feel like the fight that's coming has no winners...

Brought over here by a post by Shaya. Am a F arm of a FMF hinge. You mention tools, sometimes I feel like the best tool that would help is if everyone was able to talk openly instead of suffering alone or with a partner involving the insecurities. One of the things I have been frustrated with...

I have been lurking in this forum for the last six months, having found it when I started having my first poly problems back in January. I just want to say thank you to the other poly practicing people who came to give me insight. Thank you so much. My partner apparently read the thread and did...

I came here as this was linked from another thread. I don't really know that the reason I was seeking other poly insight is applicable to this thread. I will instead offer my own ancedotal evidence. I have had three poly relationships with men, with two of the men having other female...