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Yeah, that's kind of the conclusion I reached: you do want to be able to trust your friends, and verifying that I was telling the truth about this (and not just being some stalk-y, cheating, predator), is a good first step. I guess that other half of it is, she wants to be clear with my wife...

Thanks for asking ... it could've gone worse. She thanked me for sharing my status and said her preference was for monogamous relationships. I said I was disappointed, but absolutely respected her preference and would be happy to be friends only. She also asked to have my wife email her...

Ha! One of the folks I was ... flirting with? interested in? has now popped the question: "Do you consider yourself available? My Mom thought she noticed a wedding ring on your hand." Wasn't expecting have to answer so soon--we just met, really--but here goes. :eek::D

Muchas gracias, amigos mios. Now we'll see how it goes over IRL. :rolleyes:

So, I've met a few folks (in real life, not online). They seem into me, and I'm into them. I do wear a wedding band, but I've decided I want to be clear about the committed relationship I have with my wife before any first date. I was thinking something like, "Hey, I really enjoy being with...

Back from running errands, etc. ... I really appreciate the thoughtful answers. I never considered "gal" to be demeaning -- but if that's how it comes across to the women here, I should probably pick something else, so thanks for the feedback. Likewise on the "write about who you ARE"...

Oh, good call - thanks much. I appreciate your other advice, too - I'm going to be AFK for a bit, but I really appreciate the information here. A lot of things I just never considered you folks have really made clear - THANKS!

Yup, I see what you mean now - thanks!

I updated my OKC profile a bit ... what do you think? - - - I'm an open-hearted feminist who is funny, empathetic, and generous. I'm creative, literate, and good in the sack. I'm also fit and good-looking. And one of the gals here described me as "super awesome." :-) I'm happily married, and...

Huh. I never really considered that. I just thought an overall "I'm a great guy" with a few specifics thrown in a couple decent pictures would tell the whole story. Maybe I need to target my market more carefully. Thanks - I really appreciate your perspective.

Thanks - I never considered that approach. Can't hurt, I guess.

Ah. Ok, yeah - I see that, and yes, I'm not sure I'm willing to do more than "date" (go somewhere, hang out, possible sexy time?). But honestly, things on OKC have never even gotten that far along, where I'm having this kind of discussion. My assumption is it's my overall martial status, not...

Fair question. I'm an open-hearted feminist who is funny, empathetic, and generous. I'm creative, literate and good in the sack. I'm also fit and good-looking, although I guess the latter is a matter of opinion. ;-) I would absolutely date me haha. Good point. I'm sure my marital status is a...

Hey folks, So, a familiar story ... newly opened hetero marriage: she has ample dates, I'm struggling to get anyone on OKC to even notice me. Online and off, married men over 50 seem to be kryptonite haha. I've been reading and thinking and processing quite a bit. At this point I don't feel...

Yeah, still very much a noob, here, but this really seems like a good approach to me, at a gut level. I feel like fear (Mark's, in this case) so often stems from ignorance (not being "dumb," just having a lack of information). Laying it all out very clearly and calmly--giving him the...

You know, I'm really glad to hear that - that polyamory isn't THE ONLY WAY people should relate. Sometimes special interest forums feel a little dictatorial - "The '64 Charger is the ABSOLUTE BEST MUSCLE CAR BRO!" hahaha. I'm not about a single viewpoint. I just think life is larger than that. :)

Terrific - thanks! I assumed the more metropolitan areas would have a greater share of poly and poly-leaning folks, but I may be incorrect in that assumption. Good to know there's some friends nearby, regardless.

Thanks for the welcome, Bluebird - will definitely check out "More Than Two" as well. Being a vee sounds like it's non-stop attention all the time plus all the sex you can handle, right? :D J/K - I'm sure it's just as challenging a dynamic as any other relationship type. Yes, Kevin: I plan to...

Thanks much, Kevin. My wife bought "Opening Up" (which kinda kicked this open relationship thing into a higher gear, I guess). I've started to read it, and she'll be reading it, too. I'll grab the "Sex and Dawn" book as well. I have a lot of questions, and certain amount of anxiety about this...

Hi folks, Just joined the forum and figured I should say "hi." :D Long story short, I have tons of questions and concerns about opening my married relationship, something my wife has suggested. Sometimes I'm ok with it, but I'm still having a lot of problems at a gut level. I wanted a place...