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What I have come to realize is I let my life partner rely on me for all of the above. I tried to be everything possible for her and meet all her needs. Frankly I am exhausted after 10+ years. I need something for myself that she can't provide, namely variety. Variety in sexual and personal...

In my previous thread, I alluded to a woman I was seeing besides my life partner. It was my relationship with her that finally precipitated my journey towards an open relationship with my life partner. My outside friend is in an LDR with her boyfriend. Recently he was visiting her and when...

Perhaps you are seeing the wrong kind of people. Good, responsible men will be as concerned as you are about safer sex. And respecting your boundaries. Perhaps you need to make the use of condoms and your limits crystal clear before any action starts. If they don't respect them, then they...

I have been down this road twice before. I had fallen for another woman and didn't want to divorce and poly seemed like the answer to my dilemma in both cases. Both times, the marriage was already in trouble and I was unhappy with my marriage. So I have two divorces under my belt, one...

Thanks, that made me laugh this morning. Boy don't we all share that sentiment a lot.

Lemaire, You and I sound like we are in similar situations. See my previous thread "The Conversation". My first thought is you need to make a cold, hard decision if you want to continue with your marriage, or take the LONG difficult path to opening your marriage. I am just in the beginning...

Natlapuffin, First off, your english is very good. 1000% better than my french. I empathize with your boyfriend, I too am very sad about the loss and uncertainty of my friend and our relationship. What helps me is to be busy and focus on other things than my friend and how much I miss her...

CTF said "In fact, it was a waitress there. Look, it's not what you're probably thinking. But she's made a couple of flirtatious comments, and I, for the first time I can remember in at least 20 years, found myself a little bit smitten" I can really identify with your experience. There is...

Thanks Kevin and others who chimed in. I realize it may take some time. Though a year seems like a long time when I am 59 and my years of enjoying my sexuality seem limited. I have been wanting an open relationship for most of my adult life. But out here in redneck rural America, the...

Thanks for your comments Tinwen. I am talking about FWB, because if I get close to a female friend, and there is a sexual attraction, I want to enjoy it with her. For that reason I have kept female acquaintances at a distance to avoid the temptation to become closer. My life partner (not wife...

I totally agree GalaGirl. Separation is not an option. So one of us has to compromise. We need lots more discussion on how this can be a good thing for her too. I know this will not work if she is just giving in and gritting her teeth. I hope someday compersion will come into play for her...

Thanks for commenting on my thread Infinite. Last night we had a calm, discussion and she said "I know you are not monogamous and having friends makes you happy" this was said with a kinda sad resignation. So I guess we may be moving closer, but it still doesn't feel good to me. I think...

PolyGone, Thanks for commenting on my thread. I think you and I are in similar situations. We have a committed partner, but want more than we are getting the in the relationship. My first comment is you have to repair your relationship with your wife if you ever want to move forward with an...

IP, Thank you very much for your perspective. Very valuable questions I need to ask myself. Lot's more to think about. I haven't had a lot of close friendships, that is missing in my life and that is one reason I want this for my happiness. Even though I am bisexual I don't particularly care...

Magdlyn, Thank you for your comments. Yes, you really hit the nail exactly. She has low self esteem. I have tried throughout our relationship to help her, but as you know it has to come from within. I know there are lots of men out there who would find her attractive and want to date her...

Thank you GalaGirl. I really needed some reassurance. You are helping. Tom

Sorry forum folks. I need to calm down and give people some more information. I have always wanted a poly relationship. Having close female friends has always been a huge joy in my life. And I had given up on the idea at my age of 59. But recently met a lady I really like and want to get to...

Tonight I had THE CONVERSATION with my life partner. Is not going well, tears were shed, I tried to be prepared as best as possible, reading "Opening UP" by Tristan Taramino. Running scenarios in my head. I am so scared I fucked up bad and I may lose her (my life partner). I guess I may have...