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And having had a night to sleep it over (and some time to process off other people) I've come to the conclusion I'm not hurt that it happened, but that she wasn't honest about the chances of it happening. And the reason she wasn't honest about that with me is because she wasn't honest about it...

This isn't going to be a fun update, but I need to process a few things. First, I feel a bit guilty because I haven't been able to find time for Light. It's been a month since our last real date; we had lunch together once, but things keep conspiring to keep us apart. The days I manage to find...

They tried mapping it once. They had to resort to marshmellows and toothpicks. And that before it gained a few more nodes.

So... been a few weeks, again. I've been thinking a lot. About love. All my relationships before, they sort of... ramped up to my deciding I was in love, and went straight into couple-mode. Expecting to be together, forming a life together, etc. I never really had a chance to sit back and...

Wow. Hadn't updated since then. Okay. Well, sorry I haven't been writing as much. We had been talking a lot, mostly via text. And there was processing and whatnot. And about a week after my last post, and after a simply amazing weekend that involved many things on many nights and all kinds or...

So... from the beginning, I guess... apologies for typos, it's late. A few months back, I set up an OKC profile just to talk to people. Light read through my profile and Saw That It Was Good (tm), and the first three matches for me were her (of course) and two other members of the local 'cule...

Seeing her again tonight. Apparently, I'm crazy enough to try this. What a long, strange trip it's been...

Well, it wasn't a date-date. But there's been a lot of talking. I may be crazy enough to see where things go.

So. Um. Hi again. Not much has changed. Due to a string of bad luck causing financials issues, still not divorced. Still deeply in love. Not a whole lot of changes there. ... I have a date tonight. With someone else. I'm not sure if it's a date-date or a just-friendly-date. But... Well, I...

My apologies; I know it's been over a month. Things reached a strange mix of stable and strange that I just... had not much to write about. In my online travels, I have found a couple new friends who, it turns out, were oddly similar. Both were in their mid-20s; both were going through their...

So, things have sucked, but are working out the best they can. We're officially out if the 'be civil' phase of the separation. But, in a funny update: The woman STBX was talking wasn't looking for a FWB so much as a unicorn for her and her husband. So STBX shut them down. Started talking with...

Due to conflict with STBX, my plans to attend a New Year's Eve party are cancelled. Which, due to other scheduling things, means last Saturday's date is most likely the last time I will see Light in 2014. This makes me incredibly depressed.

... and now, STBX, who thought this whole poly thing was a bad move on my part, may be becoming FWB with a married woman. The irony, it is thick in this life of mine...

Merry Christmas, all! Today was my first Christmas splitting time between my two families: My son And STBX) in the morning and early afternoon, then with Light and Chill and others for a while, then back home. I don't know how people do this on a regular basis; I wanted to give both sides more...

Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it has been over two weeks since my last post... Anyway. Things are going well here. Busy, with the holiday season, but then isn't everything? Light and I continue to wish we had more time together, but making the most of what we get -- sneaking in lunch...

So. Another date night. A bit different as we haven't had any time alone together for nearly a week. The first weekend in a while where we didn't get any time. We... Made up for it. With great gusto. I... Well, she makes me feel young again. And feel that mid-late-30s isn't nearly as old as I...

Why did nobody tell me about Kimchi Cuddles before? Awesome stuff.

Also, I reread the post before this one. I need to stop trying to post from my phone. That looks horrible. I'm sorry.

I spent Thanksgiving day at Light and Chill's with a bunch of people. My first Thanksgiving in over a decade where I was not related to anybody present (My son being born before my first thanksgiving with STBX... and okay, yeah, that's not a blood relation, but tell that to the birth...

I need to learn scheduling better. I committed to a date night this weekend, forgetting I had promised STBX that is stay home all weekend and let her go out with her BF. So I had to cancel the date, which was sad for me and apparently very sad for Light; the only chance we have to see each other...