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if you read the thread, I explained that "just happened" meant recently. not that it happened without reason.

Yes. I agree. I am not too concerned personally about breaking away from these particular commandments. In the context of talking to my wife about polyamory (and cheating), even my wife sees these commandments as misguided. She reminded me that these were made at a time when women were seen...

Good questions GagaGirl, We come from conservative families. Both of our parents have long "successful" marriages. We are catholic. I realized this week that 2 of the 10 Commandments forbid what I did. (oh wait, maybe I said "Oh god" during sex, make that 3 broken commandments... lol) So...

Thanks Kevin. I added it to my reading list!

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. Ravenscroft, When I joined the forum and posted my question, I was hoping to get ideas on how to have this conversation. Specifically, how to have the conversation when the common questions come up. I was not looking for a lecture on how I suck at...

I see the difference. Yes, I mean "recently happened". lol. no it was not an accident. I went through major efforts hiding this from my wife. yes, she has been open to at least learning about it. I am on my 2nd book. She has said "Maybe I should read that too". The first problem is building...

yes, we are both in a lot of pain. We both see therapists now. I am trying to understand myself and what my needs are. I don't think we will agree on opening up anytime soon. The trust needs to be regained. But I find myself explaining WHY I may of cheated with the understanding that maybe I...

Hi all! I am new here, and new to learning about poly. My wife and I have been married 15 years. We have had our ups and downs. I have always found it difficult to hold back my attraction and desire for other relationships. I have cheated twice (the 2nd just happened). We are trying to...