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  1. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    Hey Kevin, Thanks for your words. That is what I'm looking at it as, now, but of course that doesn't mean emotions don't crop occasionally as I mourn the relationship we had =) It'll definitely be good, for both of us, regardless of exactly what we look like together after this transition.
  2. J

    Too much experience

    I understand what you're going through, and that it's scary to think of the future and what might happen. I can tell you it's not always easy, but you can move past some of those feelings and find a way to get your needs met (you need connection, to feel like you're wanted, etc). I highly...
  3. J

    Too much experience

    I'm really sorry that you're hurting this much, Kara. Definitely, reaching out to likeminded folk can help - I've experienced this recently, also. I'm not entirely sure what's going on. Is this unicorn driving a wedge between your family members? Are they taking too much of one or more...
  4. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    He was not, at least initially. I believe her falling for him accelerated the process, and nothing more. As for the distancing avoidance... I guess I don't see it as distancing, because we've more or less scheduled our talk for when she gets here. No, we're not done because we have a job to...
  5. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    Frankly no, I'm not over it - this just happened a few days ago. I'll get there, certainly, but I definitely need time to feel it all out. I am disappointed that another person has become part of this process, because I was expecting things to end because of us, because of the things we need to...
  6. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    I've been forcing myself to feel everything that this... I guess, separation, is creating. To that effect, I've disabled all of my dating profiles (FetLife, Tinder, OKC, etc), so that I have no distractions and I can accept the new turn my life and my relationship is taking. There are other...
  7. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    Thanks for saying so. I'm sure there's plenty I haven't really processed from all of this, and I still struggle with self acceptance from time to time. I also want to break down some of the persistent societal hang ups I have about sex and how it's affected by being polyamorous (I'm going to a...
  8. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    As we continued to work and live together, working different jobs and traveling, my feelings of “not enough” both in the poly sense and the kink sense increased, while her sadness over losing her solo adventuring life also increased. It became a common thing for us to work a season, both of us...
  9. J

    Evolving and growing with polyamory

    This story isn’t completely comprehensive, as 3 years of a relationship is pretty hard to distill into an easy-to-read snapshot. But it hits all the main stuff between me and my partner, and you can get a pretty good feel of things. I’m not posting this for advice, necessarily, though feel...
  10. J

    New here and desperate for help

    That's some rough stuff to be dealing with on top of medication, Smitten. I can only imagine the mental turmoil you must have been going through. A couple of things come to mind: Firstly, it sounds like this other man is not really poly. Which is fine, but it does sound like your girlfriend is...
  11. J

    Connecting

    That's kind of what I'm thinking, Kevin. I'm focusing on changing my expectations about meeting people from the hope of romance to just meeting people for the sake of meeting people. That's been helping, as well. Wow Vinsanity, that does sound difficult. I should count my blessings I suppose =)...
  12. J

    Connecting

    Thank you very much for sharing that, Kevin. It does make me feel better knowing that others have had similar experiences. I have been feeling much better the past few days about my frustrations, and that's probably mostly due to being here on the forum. Like yourself, I have been focusing on...
  13. J

    Connecting

    I'm not sure how I'm gunnysacking. I don't have any issue with my wife, and we talk about what we're both feeling regularly. I meant that I'm bottling it up not on purpose, but situationally. I don't have any other friends in the poly lifestyle to talk with about any of this. Just sharing here...
  14. J

    Connecting

    Hey GalaGirl, You're mostly right, though I'm not sure I would say my social skills aren't as developed. I feel like the few occasions I've been able to meet with others, all parties involved had fun until they ghosted for whatever reasons they had. I'll definitely revisit this, though, and...
  15. J

    I'm not finding long-term partners, he is.

    awkwardfox, I think I understand a little about what you're talking about. Certainly, like you, my partner has more success with the kind of connection to other people that I/we are looking for (ie. something more than just physical). It can be frustrating enough to feel like you're not...
  16. J

    Connecting

    Hello all! I've been searching for advice on some specific issues I've had for some time now. For the past year or so I've been battling thoughts of inferiority, imposter syndrome, and unworthiness. Let me explain: My wife and I have been together, and non-monogamous, for three years now...
  17. J

    Greetings - This is me

    Hi RallySpark! I'm new to the 'site myself, but hold seniority in at least the introduction department =P I can only imagine how tough it might be for your relationship style to not match with the person(s) you care for. I think it's incredibly brave of you to be true with yourself and your...
  18. J

    Married, poly, and traveling.

    Hello all! My name is Kyle. I am a traveler, an information sponge, an avid outdoorsman and have been living the poly lifestyle for nearly 4 years now. I live and work in new places every 3-5 months doing whatever piques my fancy, with my adventurous gypsywoman wife. While we live much of the...
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