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Wow, I haven't read that story before...very powerful!

Yeah, it's been hard. Technically we are still married, but for my own sanity, I can't be responsible for her. She has therapy today so I trust she'll work out her own issues I guess.

Thank you. I feel free...like I've taken back control of my life.

There is someone there...her ex still lives at the condo but they also work during the day like I do. My wife does not work, so she's home alone all day. But at least someone will be there in the evenings for now. The thing is, her therapist AND mine have told me that it's not my responsibility...

Mutual decision. We tried to hang out after two days apart but the tension was too high. She keeps getting "triggered" and gets all weird and silent and tense and I can't handle it. This basically isn't even about polyamory anymore...it's about me deciding I'm going to take care of my own needs...

and tonight I'm just sad...lying on the sofa and crying and cuddling my dog. She's coming over tomorrow night for 3 nights and I hope I can just enjoy her company without crying the whole time. I just feel depressed and I don't care about anything...like I don't even wanna watch tv or read or...

I agree, she shouldn't be doing a lot of things till she works out some more things in therapy, but I am tired of trying to tell her that. So even if someday she decides against kids, I can't wait for that day. Yeah I am glad she will still be in my life and I hope things will be better after...

thank you. :) luckily I have therapy today in just a little while...I think I'll be ok long-term. It's just frustrating to me because she wants all these things, but with her trauma and PTSD and other mental conditions, I find it unlikely that she'll find someone else who can handle all of...

So last night was the first without my wife in a while (she stayed at her own condo), and I went out and had fun. I almost felt guilty for enjoying myself but I felt free. We had lunch today to talk about things some more and I found out she had TWO dates yesterday with two different guys...

Having said all that...I still feel nauseous at the thought of her being with someone else. Today is our first day apart and I won't see her till tomorrow. She already put an ad on craigslist and now I wish I hadn't seen that because now I'm going to be wondering what she's doing.

Yeah, I think it's a good solution too! I'm afraid to admit it to her, though, but I kinda would like her to live at her place almost full-time and maybe we could spend less time together. I don't want to say anything to her right now because I have a tendency to change my mind a lot, but I'm...

Yeah, I think for the first part of our relationship I was totally selfless because she was going through so much and I just threw myself into her. It's like I had that thing where you want to save a lost puppy. Now she's not so lost and she doesn't need me as much anymore and that just feels...

Thanks :) I think for me it feels sad, like I'm disappointing her by not being poly or even by getting MY own needs met. I'm working on this with my therapist, but there's something about me that makes me feel guilty for getting what I need and not sacrificing for her. Ugh. It's confusing. But...

Possibly temporary. After deciding I'm mono and my wife wants to be poly, I thought I'd just get used to it after a while. I finally had to admit that I am absolutely miserable, stressed, & anxious and that this is not going away. The fact that she wants to date other people makes me feel...

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can relate, only I agreed to polyamory from the beginning. We just didn't really put it into practice until recently when my wife started dating someone. I had a really hard time with it. I've been anxious, stressed, and just feel horrible about...

I've seen her therapist a few times to get help on how to communicate with someone who has PTSD and my wife specifically. That was helpful and we've learned a lot from it. We basically DO have awesome communication, it's just that sometimes even with the best intentions, people are going to have...

First of all, I'm not a dude and neither was the person she was dating. I was feeling hurt by what she was doing and my reaction was visceral. We've talked about it. She knows it was hurtful to me and based on the fact that we both want to be together, we want to proceed in a way that feels...

Let me clarify, I am not abusive to my wife. I give her so much emotional support and all kinds of support actually. I treat her like an absolute princess. She knows I am there for her no matter what. It's just that we realized that I'm mono and she's poly and that she wants to make sure she...

Well it's more complicated than that. She wants to be with me but knows that I'm not entirely happy with polyamory, so she doesn't want to hurt me. She's also struggling with what she wants and is questioning her reasons for wanting to be poly in the first place.

Hi. This morning my wife seemed really down and I asked what was bothering her and we had a weird discussion. Quick recap of our situation: •She is 20 years younger than I am •We absolutely want to be together •I became poly when we met (because she was) but we hadn’t dated anyone else since...