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I just want to thank everyone who has replied to me so far, this is a very thoughtful community.

I believe her boyfriend is a BIG part of the problem. Right now, he lives in their home 5/7 days per week, while her husband (my boyfriend) is away at work. He has no resources of his own to speak of, other than a really lovely pet dog. No home (rents a basement suite) no vehicle (uses...

They own everything jointly, but she manages everything, controls all of their bank accounts. If he can get away from her, untangle himself even a little, my husband & I are willing to help with all fiscal, living arrangement issues until he can begin work again. He has the support, he just...

Galagirl, you touched on the core of the issue. She is abusive, in my eyes. Emotionally, financially, it's hard to look at. She controls all of their assets & business: while he is the sole breadwinner. She told him that if he doesn't want to be single, homeless & out of a job, that he...

Oh, for sure, she has all kinds of serious emotional processing issues. That is why we tried so hard to be accommodating and understanding of her irrational behaviour up until now. Everyone who has attempted to encourage her to seek out support or learn tools to help herself has been shut out...

We don't even have the same groups of friends - I don't know anyone who COULD sabotage us, much less would want to. We're not kids, I'm mid 30's and they're all in their 40's. She's cold, cruel and manipulative. She has been manipulative the entire time I've known her - but the cold and...

She stopped speaking to me (out of the blue) and my husband. We ran into her boyfriend at one of my best friend's houses for a birthday party, he wouldn't even say hello - he saw me, put on his jacket and left. So not only is she toxic, she has made her boyfriend filled with the same venom as...

My boyfriend's wife has struggled with jealousy since he and I fell in love. She is afraid that I am better than her in every way and her husband will leave her for me. This fear has made us very cautious and careful of her feelings. For the past year, we have cared for her, tried to make...

Stop pushing so hard. You've made your position clear, now be patient. Give it thirty days before bringing it up again, or even thinking about it. Show her how much you love her for a month, strengthen your bond, do things she wants.... And then gently broach the subject again. You're being...

Why she has to start the conversation? Out of politeness, also it is as social cue that she is comfortable with the topic & I have no desire to make her uncomfortable..... I want to be friends with her for years to come :-) it's a Canadian thing.... Worrying about appearing rude LOL Patience...

Our communication is Ok, not awesome, if it was awesome I would not feel like we can communicate better. I'm sure in a couple months this issue will resolve itself through organic growth.... I was hoping for tips on fertilization.

The issues you bring up are huge & powerful..... Not anything I need help with (or have to deal with!) we're all happy, healthy, wildly successful, adults :-) Our love is obvious, public and 100% approved by all players. Our relationship is fantastic, but there is always room for improvement...

Not at all, in that there was no agreement other than to respect each other. We, neither of us, expected love as well as friendship & sex.... So as our relationship grows, so does the need for communication and increasing the breadth of conversation topics. Just normal relationship growth...

I mean deep, like, his needs and wants and regarding how he schedules time away from her. This is a topic they've never had to consider before, as he's never had the feels for anyone else, where she has had a long term boyfriend for a while. How long... Hmmm since the 24th. His wife & i were...

No, I cannot imagine that. I do not subjugate my needs, but I am willing to compromise..... Hence my search for the best way to encourage communication, without forcing it.

I understand why he is reticent, I want to know what I can do to alleviate it while not creating any other stress. We've been dating since the beginning of summer. I am the first woman he's seriously dated, asides from his wife in a considerable time. She & I are fast becoming friends. He...

I am encountering a lot of reticence on the part of my boyfriend when it comes to discussing scheduling time together. How can I best encourage this conversation without being selfishly impatient?