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I'm on several swingers site. Lots of people do no use their real names. Maybe the do not use "dark horse" but it was years before I knew a guy named "Luke" was "Chris" IRL.

Let me get the rules straight: Before first encounter -- No penetration During second encounter-- Some penetration but only briefly Subsequent encounters-- Were you allowed penetration? Wife can play with unicorn whenever she wants though she has not? Is that correct? But you are not allowed...

I am Laura. I am married to Harry. I am in a poly relationship with Bob, who is married to Wanda. The four of us are best friends. We met while we were all in the "swingers" world. Soon after meeting, Bob and I realized we had much deeper feelings and began our own separate relationship. Our...

Wayner1483-- I am so very sorry you are struggling. I am very new to all of this myself so please forgive if I get this wrong. However, what you describe to me does not sound like polyamory. Polyamory to me is someone who has or is open to having more than one romantic relationship. Is she...

THANK YOU all so very much for your input. I really value your opinions and insight!! Seasonedpolyagain-- "lifestyle": swinging My husband I started back in the world of swinging about 2+ years ago after a decade break. I discovered very quickly that it really wasn't my thing and I rarely...

I live with my husband and he also works from home so I see him all day every day. We go out on "dates" at least once a week. My boyfriend and I try to see each other at least once a week for a few hours. We see each other more frequently as we and our spouses are all best friends but we do...

I know I don't respond to many other's posts because frankly, I am so new at this myself and feel I am not qualified to give anyone advice of any kind. But I DO read and follow along what is going on with everyone and I appreciate so much all I am learning. With that said, as the title reads...

JaneOSmythe is correct in her risk assessment comments. Having come from the swinging community to polyamory and having come from that community as one who almost never uses any kind of protection, I/we have done our research on our level of risk of contracting STI's. Only once in the past 3...

I am Laura. I am married to Harry. Our BFF's are Bob and Wanda. We met Bob and Wanda in the "lifestyle". Bob and I were never very good swingers. We are both very picky and just don't connect with people as easily as Harry and Wanda do. I, more often than not, was the girl in the kitchen all...

Lunabunny-- I never read my kids texts of emails either. I didn't even have their log in's to social media sites but my kids are mid-20's/30's and things were a bit different 20 years ago so I didn't feel the need. I know the amount of access to each others live seems weird and my request for...

Bunny89 -- I COULD have access to anything on his phone I want but while I can gain access, I think I have only picked it up and unlocked it once-- to look at the time or something minor like that. T was the one who requested access to my phone. It gives him this feeling of....being close to me...

No, I wouldn't show up at 3 am unless it's an emergency. Nor would I go into their home without them knowing. But we do just walk in when they know we are coming over or go in should they need us to feed the cats, check on something, etc. And while in their home, I would never go through their...

Galagrl, Actually, I do have access to their home (garage code and key) and he does mine. I also have fingerprint access to his phone. He has the same. While I don't have access to their bank account, I do know how much he makes, what his yearly bonus was, etc. There is a lot about our...

Thank you all so much for the advice. I talked to T tonight and explained that while that may have been their "thing" in the past, this relationship is between him and me, not him and her and that it is an invasion of MY privacy. Surprisingly, he agreed with me tonight. Now let's see if he can...

I am married to A. T is my BF. He is married to G. A and G are NOT involved or in other poly relationships. T and I became involved by way of swinging. While swingers, T and G enjoyed reading each others texts with other past and future swing partners. The sexting was a turn on. But then T met...

Quick history-- We are swingers who met a couple last year and the husband (Bob) and I fell in love. We talked extensively with our spouses about how we felt and what this would mean for our marriages and friendship and both of our spouses agreed to try and be supportive and understanding and...

I just want to say that I feel your pain. I always knew I was capable of loving more than one but until I met Bob last year, I had no idea of how this would all feel and how I would deal with it all, including if/when/how to tell family and friends. As of yet, now one knows about us, though...

Thank you all so very much for your opinions and points of view. Let me try and clarify/answer some of the questions you brought up. I will continue with Ravenscroft's monikers. 1) I was waiting to make that appointment only because I was waiting for the therapist to return my call and...

Hello! Husband and I have been married for 15 years. We've been swinging on and off for about 18 (started while dating). He is much more active than me in the swinging community -- I live for the social aspect. About 18 months ago, we met a couple who we clicked with instantly. They became and...