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You're probably right, but it makes me sad. It's not that I want to pressurize him into anything, I really don't, it's just.... It seems so overly common around here as well, that people get into it because of their partners, sometimes reluctantly, and it still works out fine in the end...

By the rules of communication, I have to assume that he speaks truthfully, right? Or do you think he would only try (by his rules) because he's afraid I might otherwise leave?

It's not true though, at least if I assume that he means what he says. He says being romantically involved is fine. In the failed attempt he was just not all too happy with my case of NRE (my fault), because he was afraid he'd be less important. He's fine with me being romantically involved as...

UPDATE Since I had been feeling increasingly blue since yesterday about matters Bambi started interrogating me about what was wrong (though I had promised not to bother him about anything regarding Tizza at least until December 14th). He wanted me to be honest so I admitted that I was still...

Responded to this but there's an update. I would like to stress I don't want to pressurize Bambi in any way. He's not necessarily opposed to poly, as the first time he had no problems with it at all... It just failed because we had different ideas about it. I just want to see if we can work...

He's not uninterested per se, he was okay with it before (technically), but he's in general part of the group of people that believes relationships have to work effortlessly or it's just not really meant to be. I differ believing sometimes they're hard work. I know poly can work but I also know...

Hello Poly people! I posted here a while ago after some trouble I had. I had my first small taste of polyamory a few months ago which kind of ended in a trainwreck. Summary for those who didn't read it or forgot: My primary partner (Bambi) allowed me to explore polyamory with a guy I met and...

True, and I agree. He said he would work on this in the future. During our conversation he finally voiced the problems he had, and he would try to do it sooner next time. Not just for my sake but also his own. I do not necessarily WANT a co-primary model, in the sense that I need one or would...

Missed a lot of posts again, rewriting

I agree with you on this, I brought it up too soon. But he didn't say two weeks was the limit, or I would have waited. He said two weeks, OR three months, OR forever. I know I could have waited at least two weeks. (Actually, I did, but I was on a study trip for one of them and he said that...

Sorry, when I said I answered to all you said, I meant your first post. I have connection trouble so by the time I finally got my reply through you posted another one by a long shot. I'm going to work on replying to that now.

He hadn't clearly stated he didn't want it initially, and upon asking he said "It's okay." He has stated now that he thinks it "doesn't work that way" (having multiple equally valuable relationships, that is) but said he might be open to try it in the future (but not now with Tizza). So I have...

I know it's a not-being-a-doormat-issue. I'm just not a typical doormat. I have treated people like one in the past, rather than being treated as one, and lately I've been trying my utmost best to treat everyone nicely and the way they deserve to be treated. This includes Bambi. I tend to think...

I made him talk to me for hours yesterday. He doesn't particularly enjoy it, but promised he would try to do better in the future as I said I couldn't live this way, constantly having to walk on eggshells. I know it'll probably take time to see if anything changes, but I don't want to break up...

He does own his part now. He really doesn't want to lose me, and promised to try to talk to me more, and sooner, despite his difficulties. But as for Tizza, he thinks it's insensitive of me to even ask for another chance to do it right. He acknowledged it might have been partially his own fault...

Rest of post We also talked about Tizza. Two weeks ago, it was a nasty surprise for me when Bambi said, "I just want you to stop paying attention to Tizza for a while." I said, asking me to slow down was perfectly reasonable perhaps, and I wanted to talk about it, but he didn't. He asked me to...

I agree with you that it was wrong not to tell him immediately, but Bambi wasn't at all bothered with that (since he's not much of a talker I tend to receive information with a delay as well, I don't really mind either), it was mostly me feeling guilty about it. People make mistakes. I realised...

Okay, guys. I feel I might have been a bit too brief, because a lot of things have happened. I was just afraid nobody might respond at all if I wrote almost an entire novel, but put like this it was perhaps too simplified and I may have been too subjective in my summary. First of all, it isn't...

Hi all! I'm a 22-year old girl that has been in a relationship with Bambi, 28-year old male, for a little over a year now. From the very beginning this had been an open relationship in the sexual sense, though our sexual encounters with other people were rare. About two months ago I met Tizza...

Thank you for your kind reply. M. isn't quite the communicative type, he doesn't like to talk about feelings at all and usually falls silent when I try to. Generally, his biggest problem is "having to talk about it", that usually pisses him off more than any situation in itself. I realise that...