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Thanks for your support! It is really appreciated (and needed) right now. BF and me have talked some more yesterday so I've gathered some more puzzle pieces. It seems he feels he's less important to him than he used to be (which, in a sense of "vital emotional importance" and dependency...

Thanks for your replies! After 2 days of what I call "ice age" and also some acting out on his part BF finally decided to talk to me. Writing it down to wrap my head around it. What he said: Knowing I'm going to go on a date doesn't make him feel all that great but he still says he might be...

Dear Dickdomin, I'm sorry I didn't reply to your latest post as I wrongly assumed I had already seen it. Might well be he's "wired" along the lines of what you've described. He can't/won't let me hear what's on his mind right now so it's hard to say. I do love him and I'm pretty sure he feels...

Hello everyone :) Here's an update on my situation. As you know, BF told me in November he's accepting my poly curiosity and he's giving me free rein to date others. I asked him if he wanted to come to my coach (which he knows and likes) with me and talk about the topic but he told me he had...

nycindie: Good point, I guess... Dickdomin: I really like your idea. As for the cybersex stuff, when we talked about it way back he told me he did it because it put his mind off things (he did have a lot to handle at that time) and he lied/white lied about it because he felt it was totally...

@inyourendo: Thanks. :) It really didn't feel good to me either - though I have never even tried nonmonogamy yet. There's still the possibility I don't like being with someone else and this is all just in my head. I'm going to find out soon. I'm also a huge overthinker sometimes and have...

Yeah well, it's not like he's not willing. Thanks. :)

I feel your situation is not that different from mine, though in my case it's my boyfriend who has been hesitant about opening the relationship. Much of what you've written in your initial post has a familiar feel to it. I believe that Kevin T.s advice has a lot going for it. Also: of course...

Hello all :) i'd like to revive my thread from August as it's essentially the same story with BF and me being just a little bit wiser (not all that much though). In August BF and I came to an understanding that there would be no dating just now but we would keep in touch on the subject. We had...

No LovingRadiance, I wasn't rushing or at least that wasn't my intention. I just feel unable to work & wait for an infinite amount of time until he may or may not feel ready to give me what I want. It feels like an unfair bargain to me. I've started reading galagirl's posts though I can't say...

I'm afraid the talk didn't go too well. He doesn't agree with the concept of setting a time frame and seems to fell pressurized. He also seems to hold it against me that I can't stick with the original plan of setting the idea of trying poly aside and focusing fully on the relationship. Instead...

That's exactly the way I feel about it too and since his intention seems to be "let's strengthen our bond before plunging into something new and challenging" this is totally counterproductive. I think I'll bring this up later this evening and see how it plays out. It's good to hear you and your...

Thanks for your replies! For some reason I didn't receive any notifications about them so I thought there weren't any and only just found out otherwise. :D sparklepop, I hear you concerning patience! Originally I had planned to date my crush in the middle of June but refrained from it because...

Hey sparklepop, Thanks for your reply! All of your points sound logical to me. I also agree with you concerning "putting additional stress on a relationship that also has problems". Actually discussing my curiosity in nonmonogamy (I guess it's not really polamory (yet) as I'm more interested in...

Good morning everyone! I've been reading this board as a guest for quite a while now and I believe now the time has come to share my thoughts and ask for some much needed ideas and maybe advice. (Please excuse my english, non native speaker here) Boyfriend (37) and me (F, 31) have been...