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Yes, that's a good thing. It looks like S is able to see her relationships with each of us as their own entities, rather than following the "highlander" monogamy model. Of course, that's just right now. Could change. Kdt (and anyone else) do you think the idea of the three of us (me, S...

That being said, I'm still going to be myself in my relationships with other women. I will just be more cautious before making any overt sexual moves (like kissing), and that will probably be a couple weeks from now anyway. As S seems to be understanding better now the separation of sex and...

kdt, sorry I forgot to answer your other question. S would not object to me having another partner. I am currently becoming better friends with a few women right now that could be possible partners. I am not actively pursuing sex with any of them until this "Vee" with S and T comes to a...

Well, I just got off skype with S. We talked about a different definition of poly vs open relationships. For her, poly meant her partners had to be strong sexually and emotionally. She said that her rship with T is almost completely sexual - that he doesn't have relationship qualities she's...

Content. Stayed with her last Thursday night. Lots of talking, little sleep, no sex. Almost broke up. She wanted to take the next week's spring break to sort out some things. We agreed to have no breakup talks / letters in the meantime, until we saw each other again. I met T Friday...

nycindie - totally agree. I'm getting better at this overthinking thing, though it's slow and probably not obvious from my posts. You're right though - its not really the polything that's the root of the problem, it's me. I've been making passive/aggressive attempts to make this relationship...

Galagirl! Thank you so much for the comprehensive reply. I'm doing a lot better today, but I'll keep that consideration of the blog area. Thanks for letting me know about it. I've started journaling and making new friends to help find some catharsis. I've also put more energy into working...

Oh, and why she slept with (read: shared a bed with) T after I left, well, I don't have a good answer to that. I did ask her about it, if there was anything in particular, but all she really said was she didn't want to be alone. For sure, it's all circumstantial. I didn't understand why...

Okay let me clarify. We didn't have sex because of the emotions. It reminded of me when I had broken up with women in previous relationships. When I tried to stay friends with these women, we often ended up still having sex. The first time I would have sex with one of them, it was...

Galagirl I've been considering a lot more what you've been saying, and thinking about those questions. You're right - the real question is "What is healthiest?" it seems. In addition, it's good to hear someone putting "polynewbie" and LDR in the same sentence, because you're absolutely right...

**EDITED because it was me rambling from my phone***

Thanks Gala. I do get what you're saying. After talking today, we both talked about how we had considered ending the relationship, at least for now given the circumstances. She doesn't want that. She doesn't want me to sacrifice my needs either. But I think both her and I agreed I have been...

Thanks Mags, I def will. Okay I'm kind of glad no one has really responded to my last post. I did a lot of soul searching yesterday. I consulted with my higher power and came to some realizations. First, I think that I've been putting my needs higher than my loved ones for a long time now...

Okay, so I just spent way too much time typing out my response, I'll figure the key points. Mag - preaching to the choir sir. I hear you. And I totally agree. She's struggling to be a hinge. I would love to chat with you sometime, especially if I can get S to join in the convo. It sounds...

I'm currently 31, and she's 21. We've been together almost two years. As for the texting while she's with him, let me explain that a bit. My girlfriend and I have been in a habit of being able to text each other whenever we like just to see how each other's day is going, and share what...

Thank you for the reply. I think that you're right about easing up contact/pressure a bit. We do try to arrange times to call/video chat. I don't think no contact unless absolute emergencies is right for us either, both with the fact we're long distance - we see each other once a week tops...

Hello! This is my first time on any polyamory forum. I've spent countless hours in the last couple years studying polyamory, reading More Than Two, and talking about it with friends and my partner. As you can expect, nothing could have really prepared me for what opening up is really like. I...