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Well said. I know this now. I just needed a friend to make me feel loved again to give me some strength to see all this for what it's been.

He most definitely is. Regarding the other thing, I've been assesed by 3 psychiatrists, I have depression and anxiety related to outside stressors. Theres no hint of anything else thankfully. I have been recieving treatment. Meds only hit me with side effects. I'm going to try amd salvage a...

It was bound to happen. I'm just sad this is so messy.

But he's already won... what's the point?

And he just sent her an article detailing how I'm a narcissist. We've broken up already... what the hell is he trying to do???

Hi everyone, I made a suggestion this morning that we could discuss this and she really likes the idea... we have yet to really flesh it out. I have no idea how to go about this or find a comfortable medium in this... Has anyone ever done something like this? Any ideas would be much appreciated.

Hello again Galagirl, I totally hear what you are saying. Your letter is much more succinct. We had a super long clear talk last night and spoke of the causes and effects. How we got to where we did and while my behaviour was my own, there were reasons for it that she completely understood...

You have it in writing. Dearest M, My dreams last night were calming and beautiful. Thoughts of wonderful times we've had and hope for future happiness with you. Combined with the serenity of some rather deep, intense feelings. I held your hand, we we're on a beach... much like Long Beach...

Hi Galagirl! Thank you for your insights. Youre absolutely right. This is toxic but I also understand that he is feeding her every line he possibly can, we wouldnt still be together if there wasn't something niggling at her. Whether thats her devotion to me or something not being right with...

Refusnik: I was looking for a little guidance although, I know what to do. And my reactions from here on out will be protective of myself foremost and her second. I will not exude harmful energy outward any longer. The withdrawls from the meds did still permeate my system until recently...

Ppwerpuffgrl1969: I agree. Im not a psychologist and while I have presented what has occurred to a friend of mine who is and she agreed with me, the caveat was she could not tell for certain unless she met him personally. While many signs point to yes, it would be unprofessional to say for...

Iuanbunny: Yes, what he said in our initial interactions terrified me. I do fear for my girlfriend but becaise he has 4 kids. She will never be in a position to be what he wants. She doesnt really like kids. However, I've put myself in a position amd continue to do so as primary and being...

Anamikanon: It's odd... as i posted this and have received everyone's reponses. I have been reaching out to friends more. I've not answered to her every beck and call for the past two days and I'm already seeing a transistion. She processes quickly. She is also a good person, an empath but...

Further Needs gf to call him at night when we're together. -- I don't react. Give them space. All of it is killing me inside but I keep cool. Waiting for him to up his game. Based on recent text messages, the game is significatly upped. - she is performing in a burlesque show, wants him to...

Hello all, Some of you may know me from a earlier post and the progression therin... I have had a great deal of clarity since then. Since my primary began a "realtionship" with a man at work who was married (unhappily) with 4 kids that weren't his wife's. At first they spent a lot of time...

Thanks kdt! I hope this resolves or finds a comfortable level sooner than later. While my choatic influence has calmed, I fear a back and forth or lack of some level of normalness will cause issues in the near future. I am bolstered so I just hope to be supportive on my end and not contribute...

Update* Well, we went on a week long trip together. Admittedly, the beginning was strained. There was some pretty tough conversations on the 17 hour drive. Whether it's the way she said it or that it finally sunk into my thick skull, I believe I understand now where she's/they're coming...

Apparently from everything written here - despite the mostly unbiased nature of my observations (confirmed). She feels poorly judged and ganged up on. That was never my intention. I just wanted to reach out and garner information from a more experiemced community. Honestly would have...

Galagirl - in order to your questions. I also wanted to add that I don't want to leave. I love her so dearly and until now we had beem consummate partners in all sorts of adventures. All I can do is stand back and wait for the train wreck to happen I guess. Easier said than done...

Thanks Galagirl and everyone else. I do recognize the toxicity in the situation but also know she wants to be there for him through what has beem trying times. She does love him, I'm more guarded with my affection and do know that she loves very freely and being on the recieving end is great...