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Tell me your metamour stories, struggles, successes! What kind of meta relationships do you prefer, BFFs or just on casual acquaintance terms? Have you ever had a meta cross the line/boundary with you in some way, how did you handle it? Have you ever had a meta that you just didn't like or get...

HAH, I thought of this after when confusion was first brought up. I did it for simplicity so I would remember what I used, but in hindsight I can definitely see how that is confusing as heck. :P I'll make sure I use nicknames next time, and maybe a legend, LOL.

FallenAngel: Ahh, I don't see an option to edit. How do I do that? YouAreHere: Thank you for this perspective on the other side of things! I have a feeling you are right about the 'road map' and the difficulties that come out of that. I think it's super okay to want those things and not have...

Oh okay! I will keep that in mind for the next post.. I wouldn't want to make anything more confusing right now by editing the posts?

I can agree thinking about it is normal and at first I didn't mind at all! Of course it's natural to think about "oh how could this work in the future?" Especially with a new partner and completely different lifestyle. But the amount of worrying and frequency I think is what worries me, plus the...

I had aliases last time and initials were asked for? I am a woman, bisexual but tend to be attracted more to women then men, I am also asexual, so that attraction is not sexual, though I have sex with W, my primary partner, and enjoy it, though we did really have to work on that together.

KC43: Yeah, this is largely my thinking. I am okay with her dating W! But I feel a lot of pressure from her end that we should 'all be together' and I feel like she thinks it's the only way things will be 'equal' or 'secure' for her; it's not poly or sharing in her mind if she has both of us...

So I've been struggling with my partner W dating a pretty monogamous person, M, who also wants to date me, which I said I would try a few weeks ago and see if any feelings develop. She has been talking to him more over the past week about her worries than me, which was good at taking the...

It is also totally understandable if you do not want to do it, regardless of what they decide. <3 I know I would probably feel similarly.

I think to an extent M and D need to be the ones to make the decision as to whether or not the tension is something that can be worked on and moved past. It may take time, but it may be worth asking how you can help to make things easier. That may mean getting some space from them for a brief...

GalaGirl, you have the best links! That is very helpful. I feel as if her support network is small, particularly because while friends of hers know about her dating W, they do not know about me, except for her two best friends, one of whom isn't supportive, and the other recently moved and is...

I hear you and understand you are very frustrated with this. I am sorry it's causing you stress. If you really do want to work this out, the best way to go about it is not by dismissing her feelings and telling her to get off her high horse. Yes, it is rather unfair of her to restrict your...

I guess I didn't have to accommodate her, she never said I had to, only what she preferred, and she does know it is open-ended and can be revisited. I guess because I hadn't really dated before I didn't think I'd be missing out on much for now? I thought I would revisit it if it ever came up and...

Well, she expressed that it would bother her if I was dating (not as much as it would bother her if our partner/the hinge was dating) and that I could if I wanted, just that her ideal is 'as monogamous as three people dating can be'. I've never dated outside of my relationship with Partner in 11...

Thank you for the links. Yes I do think I'm hesitant to keep going because of what I am noticing (thanks for the vocab cue, I tend to frame everything in terms of feelings; I guess it's less threatening and sometimes I wonder if I am observing something or if my feelings are getting in the way...

Thanks GalaGirl. I had initially been a bit worried about dating her due to worrisome behaviours. Then she showed me a lot of empathy and support when I had a few anxious nights and that made me feel very much cared about and supported so I said we could give it a try. I really like her when she...

Thank you. I only JUST agreed to attempting a closed triad/dating her (even before when we were just friends though, it bothered her to think of me pursuing others) so I am not sure backtracking on that in the span of a week would be very helpful. So last night while my partner was there with...

Thanks GalaGirl; I won't say that her concerns are necessarily her + him related, they are related to the relationship as a whole and a fear of us leaving her, forgetting about her, or how much we do without her (with the exception of her not wanting to tell him just how strongly she feels about...

So I've heard a lot about Pivots being a go-between between metas a lot, but has anyone ever been a meta in that position? We are in a closed V, at my meta's request (she is usually monogamous), about a month or so in. Pivot and I have been together over a decade and are nesting partners. Me...

I don't think you did anything wrong! I think Couple could be a little less sledge-hammery with checking in on you (I know personally if I'm uncomfortable those kinds of questions just make me want to run if I'm not ready to talk about it!) Although I definitely think you should have been honest...