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Thanks nycindie....You've given me a lot to think about. :/

Thanks. You're right....I needed to hear this. So much to think about!

Wise words FallenAngelina! And you're right. I need to stop trying to analyze things. He ended things. Period. But, I have to disagree. I wasn't insecure. I really, really wasn't. Although there were growing pains, I didn't compare myself to his other lovers or feel jealousy or anger when...

I guess not....deep statement. Which...inspired the post. Why did he feel he was expending so much emotional energy to meet basic relationship expectations? (I also think he displaced A LOT of issues from his ex on to me - expecting that I had the same issues she did, when I did not...this...

Thanks for your thoughtful response nycindie and for trying to help me. I agree, there isn't a formula. I'm trying to figure out what I can learn from my past experience and not make the same mistakes. I think "had to" was the wrong words to use. I meant, these were the expectations and/or...

I posted a few months ago about being dumped because I was a distraction from a guy's search for his primary. Who knows why he really ended things with me, but I think one of the core issues was emotional energy. I think he loved me and care for me, but the emotional energy he had to use with...

That makes a lot of sense. I've learned actions speak louder than words. Woukd you shed more light on your perspective? You said you were very much in love with him, but only wanted to see him once a week. You didn't want to see him more. If you loved him, why didn't you want to see him more...

I was in a situation where I was the "Leo" to some degree. You said: "I soon came to the conclusion that my relationship with Leo had grown into something too intense and time-consuming. From the get-go I had this idea of seeing Leo alone about once a week, maybe sleeping over sometimes and...

He wants a primary and doesn't think we're suitable for each other in that way. I think towards the end of our relationship he was feeling overwhelmed with time commitments and maybe even his feelings. I know at one point he loved me and was attached to me, but one of his reasons for ending...

It's been 6 weeks since the break up. I'm still thinking about him, which I guess is normal. The question I have now is....why not now and why later? Why would someone say I can't be with you now, but maybe in the future? Isn't rejection rejection? Isn't that like a back up plan?

Thanks everyone. I think I'm starting to get it. Finally! He can't/doesn't want to give me what I need. Whether mono or poly, it's a very valid reason to break up. It is what it is. I need to move on.

Harsh truth Galagirl!:p Call it whatever you want, I want to be close to him and he doesn't want that right now. That hurts and he can't expect me to wait until he feels like being close to me again. You can't just push & pull people in and out of your life whenever you feel the need. That's...

I know that has been said in different ways, but YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. That makes it more clear to me and understandable. It still hurts, but makes sense. Part of me understands that. He could care for me deeply, but realized he wasn't putting enough energy towards his search for a...

Claire, you're cool. Can we be friends? :) That's helpful. I noticed about a week before he broke up with me he stopped greeting me with a kiss and didn't say "I love you" as often. It was like he would reach out, then he stopped. So...I can see how maybe he decided to stop acting on it. And...

I know I need to move on, but it just sucks! I know at one point he loved me and was attached, but then he was suddenly, "I want to go in a different direction." How can people turn their emotions on and off? :(

Thanks reflections! I didn't think about that, but that's a good perspective. I needed to hear it.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I don't hate him, I'm just hurt and upset. I unfriend him on Facebook (and actually deactivated my entire account) because I didn't want to be tempted to check his page constantly or stalk the women he's dating. And to be honest, I didn't want to give him...

That was the plan for us.....didn't work out. :cool:

Not too nosey! You've given me such great insight!! I would agree that the others are more casual than I am with him (we have said I love you, he hasn't reached that level with them), but maybe he's met a few more that has potential and he feels like I soak up too much energy or he can't divide...

Thanks, you make a lot of good points. He says he doesn't have a lot of time and I was already feeling like our quality time together was limited. But, and I know I'm being a brat, he has time for the other women he's dating! Blerg. If someone walks out of your life, I know you should let...