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And my point was what works for you would never work for me and my partners. As Mags said, there are no "shoulds" - it's about what works best for each person/relationship/network. No "One True Way" to be polyamorous.

Well said and something that resonates deeply with me. Giving a voice for those who cannot speak. Thank you for sharing that.

Good tangent, opalescent. I am increasingly surprised at how cheating is more acceptable than polyamory. I know within my friend group with Jack, we were concerned about how him dating me (and being in a polyamory relationship, me having two partners) was of concern, though a mutual friend who...

Great metaphor. All of the relationships in my polycule aren't separated. Jack and Roger have been good friends for a long while, before Jack and I started dating. I have less direct contact with Taylor, but even before they elevated to saying "I love you," I requested a meeting with her, so I...

Yeah I can see your dilemma. That's on him, not you, anyway, but it would certainly complicate things. I would hope he was honest in how he portrayed himself, but then again... I guess it speaks to my confusion about her "not being open" to poly. I would say that she's already in a poly...

This may be way out there - but are you sure V knows about you? If A is okay with cheating with V, could he also be okay with hiding his relationship with you from V?

Sounds a little bit like plate spinning to me. "Oh, that one's about to topple, better go spin it again! Oh no, now that one's teetering!" That's at least the visual that goes through my mind. I'm so sorry that he lied to you. Again. I think he's going to keep on trying to spin the plates until...

Sorry that things are tiring for you, bunnielight. :( I am thrilled about moving in a couple of weeks! It's stressful and exhausting, but I'll be cutting my long distance travel time with Jack in half! It'll be a wonderful step towards moving in together at the end of the year. I am trying to...

Hello and welcome! :) I agree with Marcus. It sounds like the two of you might want to sit down and talk about what these terms mean to each of you. Gain a better understanding of what they look like and why each of you is drawn to that model. Recognizing the role of "sweat equity," what would...

Agreed. I'll add that I am bi and I still can't fanthom sharing the same bed with Taylor and Roger. I would absolutely take sleeping in a separate room by myself than joining them. They can go have their relationship without me needing to intrude on it. Well said.

I agree with GalaGirl. You noted that you need her to understand a little instead of just reacting - recognize that this may not happen. There are no special words that you can say to her that will make her instantly okay with everything. Sure, you can offer reassurance and information, if she's...

Four years seems like an AWFULLY long time to wait to meet someone, who has time and resources to arrange a visit, even with his "emotional baggage." You may not have been bringing it up, but why wasn't he? Why was that your responsibility, not a mutual thing for you two to plan? He does not...

Good luck! Hope it goes splendidly! :)

Me too! It's so cute to see how happy Jack was with their response. What great parents. :)

Thanks! :p

Thanks!! :) I completely agree! Seems much more considerate. Glad we planned it out the way that we did.

Update! So Jack and I told his family about our relationship last weekend...and it went beautifully. They were wonderfully supportive, emphasizing time and time again that they were so happy he was happy. His mom even shared with me that she had always hoped he and I would end up together. :D...

I usually wear my ring with Jack, out of habit, and have checked in with him to see if that's okay (it is). But Roger prefers to take his ring off around Taylor, mostly for his own comfort of going out with her and not wanting to feel anxious that other people might be judging him. When the four...

As a side note, thanks for the suggestion of polyweekly! I had not heard of it before and downloaded a bunch of podcasts for this weekend when I was driving to visit Jack. Awesome podcast!

Thanks for your insight, JaneQSmythe. It sounds like that works well for your family, which is lovely! I wonder if that's the perspective we'll take with Roger's family, after Jack moves in. However, none of us have families where "live and let live" is their philosophy! I'm really...