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I'd be tempted to respond to Lora's outcries with, "Yup! And life isn't fair..." and walk away. Probably totally not the most effective response, but I don't think I could put up with someone who uses "not fair" frequently. She does sound like a child. "Moooommmm, Lizzie got two cookies and I...

Keep us posted! And I'm really glad to hear that you found your own therapist during all this stress. :o

Since you're asking for feedback on the letter, I will say I get why you're feeling infuriated. I also see how it's not like this is the first time she's done something like this - it's part of the bigger picture. I also don't see any insight on her end that these kinds of behaviors are...

Hi karsa, I'm sorry this has been so difficult for you. I skimmed through your old posts to get some more background information and had a few thoughts. And I mean all of this kindly, okay? :o Like past posters have emphasized, I wonder if focusing on what YOU want and what YOUR behaviors are...

A2poly - Glad to see you're still around! Nice to hear an update on how the three of you are handling all these changes. Nycindie - I hope you got everything done that you needed to do! :) Halcyeus - Awww, how lovely :o Also feeling full of love. Jack and I have been so head over heels lately...

Wonderful that you and Angel got through it! I laughed at the minor communication difficulties, as I had a reversed problem with Roger when I was gone for an extensive time and he spent all his time with Taylor (I was really struggling being gone for work-related stuff, he didn't want to share...

Glad to see you created a blog - I'll definitely be reading along! :o This is absolutely a place for you to vent. From what I've read, blogs are a safe space to say whatever you'd like to say. You can ask for feedback/advice explicitly, but oftentimes, you'll get more of that from posting in...

Glad to hear that. I've got generalized anxiety disorder, so I can relate to the whole getting paralyzed sensation quite a bit. Glad you're shining a light on all this.

That was really powerful. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your world right now. I do hope it gets better for you soon.

Glad to hear you're managing, even if it's hard. It gets better over time. Hang in there. :o

This. We can keep reassuring you. But it will only provide a temporary fix until you do the inner work to become more secure. I highly encourage you to look into counseling, as many other posters on here have. You want our advice? That's what we're saying.

Augh. Just keep in mind that he's your metamour, so you might have more of that to deal with in the future. Don't know if I'd be able to handle someone who does stuff like that...

You WERE forced out of the closet, which sucks. But it's a sucky situation all around, including for your metamour (girlfriend's husband). I'm guessing she's also gotta be going through these hard discussions about whether or not he is up for poly, especially after cheating (or did he know?)...

So you had a sexual and emotional affair with her a month before he found out/you were planning on telling him? Ah, I had thought just emotional. Yeah, that does make it much more challenging. Transitioning from cheating into polyamory is particularly difficult from what I've heard from other...

It sounds like cheating to me. They were sexting, as well as the two of them having what seems to be an emotional affair (I mean, he says they're in love). I agree with Scrondinger's Cat. It does sound like polyamory could be used to describe the situation, but going into polyamory after...

Sounds like an N to me. Similar to my configuration, where I'm married to Roger and each of us has another partner (see my signature). Roger and Jack are good friends too, so that helps tremendously. Thirded on aliases. It can actually protect them even more than initials, because there's no...

You're welcome! Glad it was helpful. :) In hearing how he's been handling all this, I think one of the things I'd want to bring up if I were you is checking in about how processing is going. "So I hear you saying that you don't want to talk about it all the time. I'm also feeling (this is my...

It's hard for me to think of things that are "rules" per se. But perhaps guidelines/agreements: In each of my relationships with Jack and Roger, we've agreed to let the other know if one of us is interested in dating someone new before anything happens (unless it's a one night stand situation...

My husband, Roger, and I started dating very young and have been together ever since. It was about 5 years ago when he started "teasing" me about how much I liked Jack, a mutual friend of ours for many years, and then encouraged me to explore things with him. I took that leap of faith sharing my...

My partners and I are in the process of coming out to friends and family, ever since Taylor and Roger started dating (his first relationship outside of our marriage) and Jack and I got more serious. Taylor's family knew from the beginning and are completely accepting. We haven't told my...