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Oh, that one's easy - you care what we say because you care what people think of you. Even if you could ordinarily write off the opinions of strangers, you might be having a rougher than average time so close to a breakup. At the moment, and for this entire thread, actually, your writing has...

It sure does sound from your writing like you didn't always send Audrey a memo when you flipped the mono-poly switch. To the extent that you appear to say that you left her thinking you were poly when you thought the two of you were monogamous. And you did absolutely claim that you informed...

If I'm living in someone's house, and they're paying the rent, and being my transportation, etc., when they tell me that they need to be monogamous, it *isn't* just a statement of their own needs. Because I could wind up homeless and stranded. Relationships with financial dependence on them...

I'm not opposed to being involved with people older than me, or with vastly different life experience, but the marriage you are describing would have me beating feet for the exit if I so much as met you for coffee. Three *months* of high tension and not talking? You unilaterally got rid of her...

But the gas and water were both cut off. The two of you have been living in staggering poverty. So cross "financial support" off the list for at least the last four months. When you had upset Audrey, you referred her to her mother and sister. You say you did that a lot. So you weren't a...

Yeah, after your incredibly controlling behavior, your extremely young girlfriend wisely fled to nearest higher ground - where the taps and the stove presumably function. You say that the young guy that Audrey was interested in wasn't really doing much with his life. What are YOU doing with...

I disagree with Ravenscroft on only one point: you don't have to date either woman. You could try being single and figuring your own crap out for a while. Put that option on the table, and give serious thought to its many upsides.

Well, you step back and look at your entire situation and figure out whether it's working for both of you, what you want in the long term, and how you'd get there. Your situation has red flags all over it. Like, I can see what you were trying with the boyfriend initially, but now your partner...

My interpretation is that your girlfriend's other boyfriend violated her boundaries (broke into her FB) to threaten both of you, and that your GF is in danger. You may be as well. I'm not interested in explaining or excusing that behavior. There is a tbreat. You need to take it seriously. Do...

Bobs, it seems like this person has said what she wants (to not be "secondary", to have you stop adding new people), and you're right here saying you're going to keep doing those things, and see how it plays out. I can tell you right now: Badly. With tears and recriminations. She likes you...

You're allowed to take the easy way out. Look, you have this person, who I am sure is wonderful, who is, for whatever reason, going against her grain in order to date you. She gets to decide that she wants to do that. But if you are going to second guess yourself and feel guilty every time...

I can see why you're having some trouble talking to women *right here* in your post, and I'm glad you're making progress, but you have quite a ways to go, and I'm concerned about some of the directions you're headed. Calling women "females" is not a great look. It's dehumanizing. We're women...

Marcus, with all due respect, I go straight to "bad guy" because he messed with the childcare. It is one thing to step out on your partner without a respectfully negotiated prior agreement, but it is a whole other level of inarguably bad to do it in a way that requires the family to make new...

It's slightly different. It's a secondhand reqiest. For someone whose actual interest in the prospect is poorly established.

I found the writer massively self-indulgent. He's at Burning Man when his wife miscarries. And stays there. Feeling his particular pain alone, and leaving his wife to do the same. He waits until after a major financial investment to inform his wife of what was clearly an actual deal breaker...

Everything you have to say about the people involved is so generic. The hypothetical guys are fit and young. Your wife is blonde and married. And you're the one asking, not her, so it's hard to gauge her interest level. The bit where you assume all women want fit, young guys doesn't help, it...

Well, I think you should take it slow, and be open-minded about where you're going. You've broken up with your boyfriend twice. Unless you really step back and reassess what you want and need, I think committing to try and make anything work with him is only setting the two of you up to break...

So, do you want to keep trying to connect with your wife sexual or not?

Well, yes. Admitting she feels horny face to face would probably make her feel vulnerable. That's not a feeling she generated all by herself. Women receive strong societal messages opposing sexual expression from a very early age. I find what you've said about your wife's sexuality...

Of course you feel happiest around Isaac! He's new, he's enthusiastic, and he's acting like a mentally healthy person. I think you need to decide how you feel about Chase and what to do about it, and then see if that course is compatible with also having other relationships right now...