Search results

What GalaGirl said as well. Gosh, she has such a good, clear, succinct way of putting things :) And more experience in poly than me. The point I was wanting to make, was not the plan of action I suggested. That's just *one* option. Of course, breaking up with J is another option - if you can...

Hi, I'm new to poly too. But I want to speak up because have been in a similar situation to you in the past. About 10 years ago, I realised I was poly. I didn't really research it much, but told my then partner about my feelings and we agreed to give it a go. He was similar to your J - went...

By the way, sorry if I sound too angry in my posts. I am new to poly, as I've said. But it just really rubs me the wrong way when I see sweet, and very giving people like yourself being taking advantage of by people like lioness. There's nothing wrong with being a full-on, take care of your own...

What Clare said. If ANY other member of your family was asked to be left behind - Wolf, or one of the kids - Lioness wouldn't do it. This is a great opportunity for her to commit to treating you as an equal by actually doing it. She might WANT to treat you like an equal, maybe even likes it as...

Your 'personal ethics' of 'if it's not alright with everyone, it's not alright with me', sound like you have already taken on a sense of, if you are involved in a situation where someone else is hurting, then you have decided you are in some way responsible for their hurt, and you will opt out...

It sounds like you've been ready to divorce for a while, and boyfriend is just the catalyst that made you willing to act now. I'm a big fan of the path of least resistance, and telling people on a need to know basis. I would just tell husband it's over - all the reasons you've listed are reason...

Willough, may I ask why you haven't made a more concrete arrangement of how you will be together? Because, and I don't mean offence, that sounds like neither of you are really committed to it actually happening. As in, if it was that important to you to be together in the same place, it would...

Well, why not talk to Wolf about it? As in, you and wolf agree, between yourselves, how you will continue your dyad relationship (just the two of you) with lioness as metamor, if lioness says she no longer wants a triad. That sounds more assertive than 'let's all write out our life goals, and...

That's awesome :) so you haven't given up in being a mother, you just don't see the path to it at the moment. Well, stay open minded, the universe has ways of surprising you :)

Why would Lioness changing her mind, mean you are the one that leaves the relationship? You said Wolf still wants child number 4. So as I see it, you and Wolf are still on board with the original arrangement, and Lioness might be changing her mind. Surely if she has changed the arrangement, she...

If guardian's anger and negativity is making you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn't be offering to leave, in a nice 'would you like me to' way. I'd just be leaving. Surely there is some place you can stay where either you can have cat with you for two weeks, like a good friend? Or maybe you can stay...

Hi RiverGoddess, Hope you don't mind me jumping in here, but why do you feel you have to give up on a desire to have children, just because your current partner doesn't want them? I believe desires are sacred and we should never, ever give up on them - sometimes it's just a matter of looking...

That's really awesome :) It sounds like you're feeling that you'd like to take really good care of yourself, because you're worth it. Good for you. I'm not in the habit of being poly either, but I'm educating myself. This forum is helping. It's nice to meet another 'poly newbie' :) I often...

Well done to you!! First break-up is never easy, whichever side you're on. But well done, well done, well done. Remember to stick to it. Freedom and fun awaits! Give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship first, though. Also, if you're still living together, work out what sort...

Thanks for saying it's OK for me to jump in :) Well done for having a talk with him. May I ask, did you actually talk about what 'having a break' means? I'm reminded of Ross & Rachel on Friends, when Ross sleeps with another woman and then insists "It was OK! We were on a break!". To Rachel...

Hi Cleo, Well done for bringing this up with him. Can I ask you, how can these two fit together? Because to me, it is unclear. But I am still learning about poly and what primary / secondary means. How can he say this: and yet stress that the relationships have equality? and then justify...

Hi Vulpis, Hope you don't mind me chiming in. I'm new around here, learning all about poly I can. But I've been following this thread with interest. As a possible alternative to slowly 'fading out' on him, have you considered having a more assertive, honest and up front conversation with him...

Thank you - PM'ed.

I really appreciate all of your replies. I am going to edit my original post now, and request the thread be locked. I am going to do this because I believe that I have gotten good advice from all of you on how to handle this. The message is clear. In a situation where I was dealing with someone...

Thank you all, especially for the concerns about my safety. I will keep myself safe. Reflections, I just want to clarify two parts of your post that seemed to contradict. Here, you seemed to be suggesting that I don't explain myself, but just say 'it's over': But then you seem to be...