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back for another update back again for a quick update to get stuff off my chest. Yesterday, I stepped away from Flame. He broke my trust. I found out he started "working on things" again with his ex (mother of his kids) and never told me about it. I don't know the details and didnt let him...

Mentally Struggling I've been having anxiety attacks since Friday.... here and there. I think I'm just overthinking sooooo much. There are times when I know I don't have it all figured out, and I know that its a process and a journey, etc. and I don't need to have it all figured out all at...

I suppose I didn't think of it as 'okay' to have it be a stronger desire with some and not with others. But I'm not entirely sure why I viewed it that way. hmm.

Updates Up early today trying to get a few things done. I need to dump some thoughts out though and clear my head a bit. For one I told Twist I needed to end things with him. It wasn't feeling mutual anymore, I think we were growing in different directions in our little fling. He was sad...

Random morning thoughts Today is moving day for me. I'm exhausted, yet excited for a new environment... I spent last night packing. Took me a half a day total to get everything into boxes/bags. Then again, I didn't really sort or organize anything. Figured I'd do that when I unpacked. Maybe...

Flame It was thru a dating site again... go figure. Twist and I started talking around April.... around June, one of my dating profiles was going to expire so I just let it... Side bar again... lol June was such an emotional roller coaster... I went on a road trip with a friend and that ended...

Twist... I've been off and on a few dating sites throughout the past year. I met Twist on one of them. At the time, I was in one of my "this online dating sh*t is bull****" moods... but I had established a rule for myself that I wouldn't date anyone who lived in my small town, even County if...

Dreams have meaning I once had a dream my daughter was unconscious in the hospital. My ex and his parents were there and my parents too. We were waiting in the waiting room for news. The doctors came out and we ran up to them, and they said we don't have any good or bad news... she's still...

Thanks! I'm glad to be back :) I definitely am going to try :)

I'm back. :) Seems I have a knack for disappearing for awhile then coming back to recap... my apologies. Well. It's been almost a year since I've been here and posted anything. Obviously a lot can happen in a year lol I think I'll do a short version of recapping and then come back to post...

i can't argue with you there... :-/

transitional period on my lunch break and figured i should try to unload some of my thoughts that keep weighing me down.... my divorce hearing is this Friday morning.... I anticipate that it won't be long or very eventful, since its an uncontested divorce. Stone has been off and on about...

zoned out i'm at work and i cant concentrate... i need to get a lot of things out and off my chest....i feel like my mind is racing a million miles per second... about my divorce this friday...about Stone...about Kiwi....about Flame...and things that i'm learning slowly about myself....or...

Yes. Yes. Yes. Stone has been the same way....balling his eyes out...just down right awfully depressed and crying to me about saving "us"... and yes i feel the same, we could never be what we wanted each other to be for the other.... and yes again, the "what if" will always haunt me I think...

Counting Down 6 days left until my court date for my divorce... I'm not sure it has hit me yet... maybe it will once it happens? Stone seems to be taking it really hard and making it a huge deal... which makes me wonder why I don't share the sentiment... I mean, I was in love with this man...

New Beginnings big things to look forward to...also to overthink and cause some stress at the same time. My job was at first helping me pay for the remainder of schooling... Now that's changed due to some financial obstacles they've encountered (it's a really small company)... Ive reached my...

I didn't go into describing him or our connection in too much detail but quite honestly I think he isn't drama.... I think the drama has stemmed from both Kiwi and Stone and their indecisiveness, poor choices, etc. Maybe I'm viewing things one sided, I'm not sure. I do however think I would...

Different. But similar as well Hi polysnow! Just wanted to send you a virtual hug! :::hugs::: I may have said this before but I feel like you and are I are in somwhat similar boats... I know the situations are different but I do find similarities... I'm going thru a divorce myself... My ex...

Those damn connections Hello again. For this journal entry, I want to talk about Ocean. Ocean is Kiwi's husband. If you go back to my original thread on here last August I mentioned that Kiwi was married with three children and unhappy with her marriage. She has been with Ocean for 12 years...

One year later...... They say that things can change in a day....but oh how things change over the course of a year.... I started this blog on this website a year and four days ago.... crazy to imagine how differently things were back then.... So I suppose a recap is definitely in order...