Search results

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear how explosive things got and the abuse you experienced. I'm glad to hear that you and your children are safe. Block your wife's number, or at least ignore all of her texts. Maybe turn off your phone. You do not have to listen to her ongoing verbal abuse. Please take...

This. This is how I was (edited: and AM!) able to get through the hard times of my husband dating another person. Does it get easier? With the above things, for many people, yes it does. It did for me, and I'm guessing many other people on the forum. But without the things PinkPig listed, I...

Seconded. This "fear" does not sound unfounded. I'll add that when my husband started dating his first (and current) girlfriend, I REALLY struggled to adjust. Despite us being in an open relationship for like 4 years. Despite me having a boyfriend who I loved. Despite him being nothing but...

I am bisexual, but have two male partners. Just because I'm bisexual does not mean I'm searching for both a man and a woman to date. It means I connect with others, regardless of their gender. Both of my partners happen to be men. I personally would not be a "secondary" to any parter (ugh...

I'm sorry to hear about how hard things are for you, Reader. I wish I could offer you more advice at this point. Empathy is the best I've got. I can't imagine opening up my marriage within a few months, while already being unsure if I can trust my partner (after he/she cheated twice...

And maybe that's why Roger and I have found the partners that we have. We do not practice hierarchical poly. Jack's relationship with me is absolutely not secondary to my marriage, nor is Roger's relationship with Taylor. Perhaps consider what you are offering to your potential partners. I...

Glad to hear that you at least have some clarity about your needs here. One-sided relationships are not very enjoyable. Let us know how things go, if you're willing. Good luck!

Hello ReaderofThreads and welcome! :) Don't worry about the length of your first post - sounds like there was a lot of information that's pretty crucial! I think it's great that you are trying to understand your wife as a poly person, even if you yourself are mono. Can you help me by...

Sounds like what I'd call a duplex. Not a bad idea, if you'd like some more division between relationships. Many of the duplexes I've seen are two apartments, each half of a house with private entrances. It allows renters to have half a house and share a yard. But I'm sure you could find a way...

My perspective? From my experiences with Jack, there was a period of time when I felt like I was putting in more effort into our relationship that he was. I felt very needy and desperate for his attention. What I did was talk to him about it. I laid down all my cards and said "hey, I tend to be...

Hi ThatYankBird! :) Here's what stood out to me. You are not asking us whether his time management is reasonable or how to get him to change. We can debate all day long about whether time needs to be split exactly between partners or not, but that's not the crux of the matter. You are asking...

I'm going to throw out a few of my initial thoughts - feel free to take what you find useful and ignore the rest. I hear a lot about what is going on for you. How stressful her having such a connection with this other guy. How you are set on monogamy. How her actions continue to hurt her. Of...

My boyfriend is mono (by choice, not interested in finding other partners) and It was 4 years before my husband found someone who he was interested in dating (she was, they've been dating a year). I don't know how much that length of time was related to him finding someone he wanted to...

I'm sorry to hear about how you feel like the rug got pulled out from underneath you. I remember just how bumpy things were with Roger when he first started dating Taylor and the number of times that we both THOUGHT we were on the same page, only to find that we were not at all. I'll second...

Oh Liz, I am glad to hear that he made that choice. I hope he and Lora can get through the break-up without too much pain and that you take care of yourself during the process. Best wishes to you! <3

I know your metamour has not yet been diagnosed or properly assessed by a professional, but for clarity's sake, I will assume that she at least has some traits. If she does have borderline personality disorder, understand that this way of relating to others comes from an invalidating childhood...

Coming from abusive relationships/households/situations, it's often common for people to need reassurance that they're not just making a "big deal" out of nothing. That it's not their "fault," they're not to blame, they're not "crazy," etc. Validation of their sense of reality can be incredibly...

I'm so sorry, Journey. It seems like he is really terrified and does not know how to respond but to double down. I hope you can take care of yourself and show yourself some self-compassion during this time.

I agree with PinkPig, in retrospect. I don't think that she will immediately change after you bring these things up to her, but I do wonder if you can have some peace knowing that you're not walking on eggshells around her. You can have a voice. How she responds is on her - but I think it's...

Just voicing my support here again, Liz, as I have been keeping up with your blog. If Lora were open, receptive, willing to listen, etc., you might be able to talk with her. She is none of those things. I am doubtful any real change would come from you addressing this with her (or Jon, tbh). I...