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Having now read and responded to a few comments... I can sometimes be rather dense, but I seem to perceive a certain amount of defensiveness or annoyance at the paragraphs from therapy that I copied and pasted. I tried to explain my intention with the preface, but perhaps I anticipated a degree...

Wifey got off work. I got 60 minutes of me-time. This is how I used it. It was actually a preface: "Because I communicate far better in writing than speaking, my therapist had me write up some paragraphs for her on some specific topics. With a little editing to maintain privacy, I'd like to...

Three things. First, Oscar Wilde once said, "Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong." For the reasons you acknowledged, the overwhelming majority of the people in my life would agree with me on not wanting to go down the path of polyamory. That makes me intellectually...

Perhaps you missed the preface? I wrote, "Because I communicate far better in writing than speaking, my therapist had me write up some paragraphs for her on some specific topics. With a little editing to maintain privacy, I'd like to share some of them here. Here's the first:" Then came those...

Nah, I'd say she's quite bonded with the baby. Far more than I anticipated, actually. She's just not one of those moms who must be within 15' of her baby at all times. She enjoys spending time with her before work, after work, and on the weekends. Yes, she had maternal postpartum depression...

I hadn't ever managed to distill it down to succinctly before. Glad it makes sense. Well, it's more like my wifey is being largely quiet but when she does speak she's encouraging the therapist to continue trying to dismantle these objections.... *sigh*... I'm not doing that justice / explaining...

Final comment I'm copying and pasting: I’ve heard it said that polyamory is about being able to feel intense emotions toward multiple people a time. One podcast host said, “It’s about a full acceptance that one cannot get everything they need from another person.” I want to make my perspective...

It’s not difficult for me to imagine wifey loving more than one person at a time. I could easily see her simultaneously being in love with me and another woman or two. What I question is the quality of those relationships with all the logistical constraints. Given that there’s only so much time...

A mantra of many people in the various non-monogamous communities is “Never say never.” It’s encouraged to allow yourself to be open to new experiences because you never really know if you’ll want to experience something later even if you’re confident that it’s not something you want right now...

I have nearly inexhaustible intellectual energy but precious little emotional energy. Part of that is personality. Another part of it is current life circumstances. Still another part is difficult stuff from the past I’m still healing from. But the point is, I only have so much emotional energy...

After all this research, I still I can’t shake the thought that we’d be knowingly signing up for a lot of soap opera drama in our lives, which just seems stupid. I know some people thrive off that kind of emotional roller coaster, but I’ve been flat out annoyed by it literally as long as I canr...

It seems to be common knowledge within the polyamorous community that this lifestyle takes a lot of trial and error to get right. As one popular podcast host put it, “Polyamory is an acquired skill. You should expect to make a lot of mistakes. It’s a tough road at the beginning, especially if...

In this community there’s a lot of talk about one’s “poly saturation level.” As I understand it, that’s how many relationships a person can effectively have and sustain at one time. It’s not so much about how much fun one is capable of having, but rather how many people one person can be...

During my research I keep coming across this statement that polyamory requires relational efficiency in order to split time and energy between different partners. Alongside that is this assumption that’s a good thing. People in the poly lifestyle really seem to value the rush of that relational...

Another thing I keep seeing and hearing is that polyamorous people really don’t get a lot of alone time. In order to make their various relationships work, they keep their schedules jam packed and are almost always spending time with one partner or another. Putting aside the whole question of...

While people in the poly community usually give lip service to the validity of monogamy for those who define their sexual orientation in that way, almost without exception they seem to assume all sorts of negative emotional motivations from the partner who’s hesitant when an established...

I’ve heard a lot of women on poly podcasts say some various of, “My emotional and physical safety matters first.” Sorry, but I call bullshit. This is a fundamental inequality between men and women in the non-monogamous lifestyle that really irks me. Yes, I do believe in prioritizing the woman’s...

Wifey has subtly but consistently expressed a desire for a secondary romantic relationship with a woman that is not only distinct but quite separate from our marital relationship. She feels that if she were to do this, it would be 100% her decision and would basically be something she’d do on...

There seems to be an ideological movement within the polyamorous community toward pure egalitarianism. They’re trying to move from the language of “primary partner” to the language of “anchor partner.” The reason for this is that people find the relationship ranking to be an unfair, insensitive...

I have deep reservations, if not outright disagreements, with an awful lot of the cultural assumptions and philosophical beliefs held by those in the lifestyle. While we may share a fair amount of the same external behavior, we simply do not share the same internal beliefs and values. As a few...