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  1. M

    How do you handle crushes when you are polysaturated?

    What do you all do when you don’t have space for another partner....but have a crush on someone? Especially when there is mutual interest? Do you.... Ignore it? Suppress it? Indulge in fantasy/crushing, but no more? Negotiate a casual relationship? Wait for a time when your life is less...
  2. M

    How much direct contact with metamours?

    What have you found to be an appropriate and comfortable level of direct communication between metamours? Although I am asking the question in a general sense in order to solicit a variety of experiences, I will provide a few more details about specifically why this question is on my mind...
  3. M

    A crush?

    Sorry! I had meant to update my own blog, but instead I started a new one! I am deleting this post and have copied and pasted it into my blog! Sorry!
  4. M

    Tanking libido in response to change in metamour situation?

    Has this happened to anyone else? One of my partners (Ponytail) recently became sexually involved with two of the people he had been dating. Since the start of this shift, I have been feeling weirdly resistant to having sex with him. I will get all excited about it, but when we are actually...
  5. M

    Feeling Inadequate

    I am feeling inadequate sexually and I don’t know where else to turn. I don’t really have a “question” but if anyone has words of wisdom or support, I would appreciate them. I am feeling really depressed today because of a conversation that I had with Whiskers this past weekend. We had just...
  6. M

    Poly Frenzy

    I am having a difficult time knowing where to stop when it comes to polyamory. I have three partners — a husband and two boyfriends. Despite feeling pretty busy and without room for additional partners, I have been swiping around on OkCupid lately, just out of curiosity and because I felt like...
  7. M

    How common are metamour issues in healthy relationships?

    This may seem like an odd question, but I am often confused by the number of people who seem to put up with strained/antagonistic metamour relationships. I know that people often post here when things are *not* going well, but I am just surprised by how many poly relationships seem to have been...
  8. M

    Parallel Polyamory with Partners who have Similar Interests

    Okay, so for those who are familiar with my situation, things are going very well right now. I haven’t updated my blog for awhile but things have been working really well with Ponytail. He is going on dates and meeting new people and taking care of his social needs without me and I am able to...
  9. M

    Feeling a Little Hurt? How do I make this blow over in my head?

    So Whiskers and I only see each other about once every two weeks. Due to the holidays, it was over three weeks in-between our two most recent dates. Despite this slow down, we seem to be getting closer and when he suggested an lunch date for only 1.5 weeks after our previous one, I was excited...
  10. M

    Spending time with metamours...who should initiate?

    My newest partner (Whiskers) lives with his wife and her other partner. They all coparent their baby together. Collectively (when checking schedules, etc) Whiskers refers to his wife and metamour as his "family." Note: I'm realizing that I don't have established nicknames for all of the people...
  11. M

    Sex too soon?

    In relationships — poly or otherwise — is there such a thing as having sex too soon? I ask because I am confused about a situation I am going through right now. I am having a really difficult time reading Whiskers. He seems not that into me. I am finding myself pulling away from him because...
  12. M

    Please help. WTF just happened?

    Everything is falling apart. I am devastated and confused. Whiskers and I had our fourth date last night. Something clicked. We were both feeling more of a connection. We had sex. I was so nervous and self-conscious but I had a wonderful time and really enjoyed myself. We talked and discussed...
  13. M

    What do you do when someone cancels on you?

    For the second time now, Whiskers has had to reschedule on me. The first time he told me about 5 days in advance and apologized that he forgot he had theater tickets with a friend. The second time was for tomorrow and we had daytime plans for some time when we would both be able to be free from...
  14. M

    Not Rushing (aka: Help a Bicurious Girl Navigate Her First Date with a Woman!)

    Okay, so I haven't really been on OKC lately because things are going relatively well with Whiskers and I'm just not all that interested in juggling multiple potentials. But then recently I checked it and a woman who I had been messaging with before (like a month or two ago when I was on OKC...
  15. M

    How often do you see your current partners?

    This is really more of a survey than anything else. I am curious as to how often folks on here see (or Skype or whatever) their partners. Once a week seems to be standard for non-cohabiting couples in poly networks that I encounter around here, but obviously there is huge variety! I’ll go...
  16. M

    How and how much do you help a partner adapt when you date someone new?

    I thought things were going pretty well as far as Ponytail adjusting to the idea of me dating someone new. He had expressed some concerns about my time and I reassured him that many of my dates with Whiskers would be during the daytime because we have relatively flexible work schedules. Well...
  17. M

    Age differences and metamour relations

    I met the other two partners of the guy I am dating and they seemed a little frosty to me. It could be for any number of reasons (including that I am just paranoid), but he is 8 years older than I am (and I have never dated anyone more than 2 years older than I am until now) and they are closer...
  18. M

    Polyamorous Personalities?

    Do you think there are certain personality traits that lend themselves more to polyamory? I have been on OKC lately and I am feeling really weird about it. I like sending the first message and don’t really obsess or even think about it after I do. But as soon as the other person replies and we...
  19. M

    Texting

    How much do you text when establishing a new connection? Like, before the first date and between the first few dates.... I ask because I don’t have a ton of dating experience and I am finding myself overwhelmed with trying to keep up messaging threads with a few different “potentials” on OKC...
  20. M

    Questioning a partner’s decision

    I’m struggling with a question of how much explanation/information to expect when it comes to people’s personal boundaries — particularly boundaries related to sex. The “what to do when a request is ignored” post made me think about my own situation and I am wondering what you all would do if...
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