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I wrote the above yesterday as a response in veganchick's thread, but I decided to share it here too. I don't have much to add to it right now. The words above led to a middle of the night discussion. We ended up back in the place of hurt, lies, deception and pain. We emotionally beat each other...

You have made multiple posts here with the same. Your snide remark at the end of this post is just more of it. I appreciate the time invested and some of the things you had to say, but don't see anything else positive coming from it. I moved my thread to the blog section for a reason and would...

I don't prefer swinging. You could count our swinging dates on one hand. It's not the deeper connection that hit me, it's the LIES AND BROKEN TRUST!!! There would have been a lot to process here, that much is obvious. It was our first real poly experience, our first solo experience, it was 400...

Not nearly as often as I tell her how much I love her, how beautiful and desirable she is and how fortunate I am to have her in my life. We fell in love before we had ever seen each other in person. We have had six amazing years together. So, you don't need to preach about love being on the inside.

I so feel you on this Carma. We worked all morning and afternoon together on a renovation project. There were no rude comments, no discussion of our situation. It was pleasant. I so wanted to hug her, but could not. She was somewhat aloof and disconnected, probably for fear of starting...

Cindie, you're beating a dead horse on this. Your take on our relationship is so far off base, neither of us responds to it, but still you persist. Sorry, but repeating these ideas over and over and over is really not helping anyone.

My poly thought for the day. So, this thread is evolving and will be moving to the Life Stories and Blogs forum. In the interest of seeing it off to a good start in it's new home, I'll share my poly pondering for the day. It isn't a poly blog, but it's author is a poly dude with many years of...

This is where I have done my own begging. Her words ALL come out as justification, regardless of the intent. I have asked her to stop trying, to just accept my anger and my hurt. She can't give me that, the attempted explanations and their re-writes just keep coming. It's too much, there are no...

Just as I hit submit, she had to come down and talk to me. Now I'm shaking again. Will it never end?

Oh well, drinking and posting. Breaking one of my cardinal rules. But who the hell cares, I don't about much at the moment. I really tried to leave this thread alone, leave this life-sucking subject alone for one evening. I didn't speak of it at all to veganchick tonight. Okay, I just plain...

Maybe, I don't know if I can.

Yeah, this hits home because I have had this happen to me before. The mother of my children left under the guise of visiting family and never came back. We don't have any children together biologically, so she can't take my two, but she can take the youngest who has spent most of her life with...

Still exhausted, not sleeping more than 4-5 hours per night. I think I am finally finished with the circular arguments, inconsistent answers, denials... I wanted a peaceful day today, but veganchick had other plans. She found time for two more hours of this before she left for work. Thank...

That's what I was thinking. It may be time to sit down all together and decide what direction both relationships are heading. There could be more common ground than you think. It sounds like things are possibly at a turning point. That could be good or bad, but I would want to know firsthand...

I am too hurt right now to know and still clinging to what we had before this mess. The loss of that relationship as I knew it is still too painful and devastating to process. Even with the many things we can salvage and the unlimited possibilities of what we can build in the future, it is going...

It did come across that way when I read it. I said that in the depth of shattering, in real time as this was in the middle of unfolding. My original post was not some idyllic reflection and did not enjoy the luxury of hindsight. It was pure raw passion flopped out there for better or worse...

I don't think Paul is a bad guy. I don't know him well, mostly only what veganchick has shared. Paul married a poly woman two years ago. He still isn't really sure about this whole poly thing, but is exploring the possibilities and enjoying (or at least trying to) a bunch of free sex in the...

Veganchick has only read some of the most recent posts. She is still hesitant to start at the beginning, maybe still some avoidance of owning this situation. She has written pages of her own with the intention of sharing here. She is a a little more reserved than me. I think it's harder for her...

Thanks for the reply Redpepper. Maybe I am pissed? I don't know, the lies trumped all and I wasn't allowed to even process the sex. When we joined this forum, veganchick spent days reading your blog and Mono's. She has even mentioned that perhaps she thought she could just dive right in and be...

Ha, that's kind of cool. Never really thought of it, but I guess veganchick and I have had at least an electronic version. It's actually a former co-worker of hers. He and his wife have talked about opening up, but I think that is as far as they have gotten. Anyway, they have a little text...