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Wow, I haven't been around in a long time so quick recap... Bf of 7 yrs, gf of 3. I've been his and her only partner for pretty much the entirety of both relationships. Jules has had casual things and hook-ups. He's always been honest and open about it, so I've been able to trust him and feel...

I told her I am willing to compromise on this situation, but the controlling behavior will not be tolerated anymore. * 1 month transition period to get used to not having ownership of my bed * I'll buy new bedding * We can set up a sleep area elsewhere for her if she needs it. * I can sleep at...

Thank you for your replies. I know a lot of you probably think I am silly to stay with her for so long with these kind of demands, but what can I say? I tend to let my heart guide me. It's something that can't really be expressed through words or through the internet, only through experiencing...

I'm sure you're sick of hearing from me, ;) but I really do have a connection with Aimee. We love each other. Things always settle after we come to a conclusion together. I thought having some space would help her see it's okay to not have as much control over me and my time, and show her I love...

Aimee and I have been going through some transitions lately. A little back story... I've been with Jules for 7 yrs and Aimee for 3. I've posted about it here before but... About 2 yrs into my relationship with Aimee, I went through some changes with Jules, and we had a non-sexual relationship...

This DADT thing is hard to manage, especially living together. And tbh, I'm starting to think that was never even truly on the table to begin with. Aimee made it very clear she didn't want to argue about this stuff anymore. She told me she knows what I need, and that I'm going to do what I want...

I'm going through something somewhat similar. I have been living with my gf for a yr and a half. Some desires have changed. Aimee is now saying I cannot have sexual contact in our house with anyone else, whatsoever, even in my own room. We did not discuss this before moving in together, because...

I told her how I feel, how important my autonomy is and having control over my experiences with others. She said she knows. She wants me to have that, but she isn't comfortable with it, and can't/won't promise she ever will be. She said, "I know you're going to do what you want, but it doesn't...

Agreed. Thank you. I'm glad to know I'm not crazy.

Situation now is: * Aimee accepts me having sex with my Jules * Aimee says no interactions with other guys without her being involved. No kissing or having anything go on with this other guy at all. It seems kinda like she did a trade-off, like, "Well, if you can have sex with your Jules, then...

Lots of good points above. I've been doing lots of thinking, talking, trying to understand. We are spending time apart and together, focusing on quality time. That has been good. We hadn't gone back into the convo of "rules" or boundaries, because in my mind, the way she said things meant she...

Well, things took an interesting and unexpected turn. For two days after the last convo I posted about, Aimee and I kinda did our own things. I went out two nights in a row, solo, with no complaints from her. It was amazing! Definitely refreshing independent time. On the second night, she went...

Thanks for your replies. I ended up doing a little bit of everything suggested. I apologized for hurting her and going against our agreement. Things got really intense because we both were hurting and struggling with our clashing opinions. I felt it was time to stop beating around the bush with...

Thanks for the replies. I wasn't sure if I was just venting or what I really needed either. But sometimes I need to just blab and talk for a while before I realize what's really going on. Then sometimes things happen that remind me, oh yeah, there's more going on than what exactly is happening...

I can relate to things colorswolf and london are saying in this thread. I am very young, but have recently done a lot of exploring. I am realizing certain personality traits and personal needs that align with my beliefs. I deeply desire freedom and independence. When I feel controlled or held...

I went over to his house last night. The minute I got there he ran up n gave me a big hug. It felt so nice. It made me feel so happy just to see him again and be in his arms, to see him smile and laugh together. We had dinner together. I wanted to be close to him, things felt normal and great...

Thanks for your reply. I'm sure you are right. It just seems so wrong and impossible to leave him. I'm so scared. I can't stand the thought of how mad and depressed and abandoned he will feel. I can't stand the thought of making him feel even more alone. I'm afraid of being lost without him. I'm...

I just wanted to add, I think the "triangle theory of love" is helpful to think about here... http://www.serolynne.com/trianglelove.htm Jules and I seem to be at the "companionate love" stage, yet still holding on to ideals of "consummate love." I don't know how to progress from here so we...

Changes and transitions in LTR-- letting go, breaking up or changing expectations? Does it ever get easier??? I feel I have been dredging through the same issues for so long. I feel so foolish, selfish, confused. I keep going back and forth on what I want, what I need, what makes sense. I'm...

Am I wrong in getting pissed off here? I cannot stand even the idea of being controlled or told what to do. I feel like this is an enormous thing to ask of me. Quick back story, (read my other posts for more details): I've been with my bf Jules for 6 yrs, gf Aimee for 2. Pretty much closed...