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Sorry to not have responded earlier to these amazing responses. I read them over and over carefully and I completely agree. I made the conscious decision to hold my head up high like you suggested and believe that I deserve better. Yes, there is definitely still some residual sadness at the...

More confusion: what do I do now? UPDATE: I received a message from his primary, my friend, a few days after he broke up with me, asking if I was okay. She asked if she could share her feelings on it now that he had decided to not pursue a relationship and I assumed because she wanted to...

I will never know what went on in their house between them. I can't judge something I don't have information on. I did see a "counting" system going on and they did seem hell bent on punishing each other for past relationships. That's the resentment I spoke of earlier. I appreciate the advice...

You are absolutely right. He ultimately has to take responsibility for his own actions, regardless of outside pressures or expectations.

sounds bang on. Trying to move forward but because I am missing answers, I am not sure how to do that. I think I stirred up some underlying issues between them. We ended up having a one on one meeting with just her & myself and then another one with the three of us. I saw a pile of resentment...

They were communicating throughout and no, we didn't 'to move forward with sex (even though we wanted to) because we saw & heard quickly that she wasn't comfortable after we kissed. We had a couple sit down chats, one with me & her, and then the three of us. He said he needed space to let her...

I was hoping to salvage the friendships but you are correct, I believe they would be tainted. The trust is gone. As for coping mechanisms. Just trying to find the silver linings. I have no regrets. It was still worth being vulnerable, connecting & giving & receiving love. As your name says...

He was given her "blessing" / "permission" but I believe she assumed nothing would happen. I think it was hurtful to her to be blindsided. I didn't communicate my feelings.

I am new to polyamory. Single. Divorced. I fell in love with a good friend who has been in a polyamory marriage for many years. We built a relationship and felt our two families connected & intertwined fairly well. I love his wife dearly as a good friend. We have all been good friends for...