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  1. slm

    new tp polly

    well, pets can actually be somewhat akin to family members for some people, so you should maybe at least allow for that possibility. it seems though, as many have said, that you just need to talk to this person and then make a decision. you apparently are not happy.
  2. slm

    New...learning...listening...

    From everything else you've written, I think you hit the nail on the head there.
  3. slm

    new tp polly

    Everyone has boundaries and their own unique life situations, about which you still haven't told a lot (yours or theirs). How long has your partner been with the other two women? How long have you been in this relationship with this man? It's possible you have too many expectations. Even if you...
  4. slm

    new tp polly

    Well, if the person is actually defined as secondary, then I suppose they would, by definition, come after the primary. But some poly relationships strive to be non-hierarchical, and therefore no one is defined as being first or second or third, ect. Rather, everyone is defined as being...
  5. slm

    Penis size and sexual enjoyment.

    fingernails or something more serious?
  6. slm

    Penis size and sexual enjoyment.

    if the person has relatively small hands and knows what they're doing, being fisted is the farthest thing from scary or painful.
  7. slm

    Movies: That would have been better with a poly ending.

    Casablanca. But it practically had a poly ending anyhow, except that they weren't able to all be together due to practical complications.
  8. slm

    Penis size and sexual enjoyment.

    yes, hands are very useful tools. and so versatile - open, closed, wrapped around, inside cavities, outside cavities, 1-4 fingers in various combinations, and even an opposable digit. perhaps i missed your point, but it was fun for me nonetheless.
  9. slm

    new, confused, and unsure

    I don't think there are any formulas to prepare you for the meet. The main idea is that she probably is just interested in the person that her partner fancies. In this case, the best thing you can do is try to relax and be yourself. He likes you for a reason, and you have to remember that. From...
  10. slm

    I want my spark back!

    have you met SG or spent any time with her? Sometimes this can help, other times it can make things worse. In any case, if they keep seeing each other you and her should probably meet at some point. Otherwise, reminding yourself of the positive aspects of his new relationship can help. These...
  11. slm

    compersion and/or self-interest

    yes, that couldn't hurt. maybe at some point i'll mention it, when/if the time is right. although he would typically not be enthusiastic about 'joining groups' - any type of group.
  12. slm

    compersion and/or self-interest

    that's interesting, and relevant to our situation. He's actually always had a lot of friends, but had started to see them less often in the last couple of years due to quite a few factors... and yes, he seemed to have become less independent as a result. But he has also recently started to...
  13. slm

    compersion and/or self-interest

    My friend/partner/husband and I recently opened up our relationship. This was after much talking, effort and going through the basics of polyamory – this is his first experience with being in an open relationship. I’ve been in a few previously, and was extremely happy when we finally reached an...
  14. slm

    What you listening to Now :

    New Model Army - most recent anthology 2xCD boxset
  15. slm

    Word Association Game!

    lecture
  16. slm

    Attachment style quiz

    "According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 1.44, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 4.36, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance)." I fell into the dismissing...
  17. slm

    "Stop me if you've heard this one" - clichés we've heard from non-polys

    "for me, a relationship is about commitment"
  18. slm

    Personal Summaries

    i'm from the united states, living in Finland for the past 6 years. in an open relationship which happens to be a marriage, but don't know anyone in this country who doesn't look down upon such arrangements and i'm not so good at meeting new people. i'm a social scientist, both studying and...
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