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This is drifting way off topic from the original thread, but to try a short-answer, it's mostly just happenstance and a pattern I've seen... I seek someone who wants a serious, committed, long term relationship first and foremost. Many monos are looking for exactly that as well, albeit they...

Agreed... Although I've encounterred this slightly more with "poly" men not wanting other men in the mix than I have with poly women not wanting other women, both DO happen enough that I wouldn't hang it on the gender specifically... it's not THAT unbalanced statistically. Most poly men who...

I hope this doesn't seem as harsh as it COULD seem, but in response to "What if he leaves me in favor of her?": 1) If that's a (significant) concern of yours, perhaps now is not the time to add anyone -- Ideally, you should feel nice and secure that there's really very little chance of him...

Welcome Bella! I'm a poly habitually involved with monogamous loves, so I'd be quite happy to talk to you about what you're feeling, what seems to have helped my mates in the past, and to put you in touch with my current mono love if you'd both like... You're not alone...

Let me throw my own "welcome" into the mix... :-)

Many of us have been there... Jessie: As others have said, many of us have been there ourselves or been through numerous times of seeing our mates dealing with their polys (us!) strange ways... There isn't really a single way of working through it, but there are some commonalities I'm happy...