Search results

Genuine update Hey everybody I wanted to give you all a genuine update. Before I do I just wanted to say thank you for letting vent here. All of your advice and perspectives really helped me to come to terms with the reality of my own situation. I can't thank you all enough for that. Also...

Thanks for the most recent advice. Things have really settled for me and day to day normalacy has turned into a wonderful lifestyle for the three of us. Today I'm fighting off some old negative patterns and I just need a little help. I have noticed in the last couple of weeks what our...

Thanks all, really helpful advice, I'm really working securing my personal shit and not leaving it up to my wife. We also recently were intimate and it was incredible. It turns out that patience is what will see us through some of these challenges. Thanks for your ongoing support. Today in...

Hey guys, I'm having a difficult day today. Things have actually been going great, over the weekend my wife and I were really close and we had some intimacy. It was great because it was the first time it didn't feel weird to her, but like we were returning to us. However, things are different...

Does all of this get easier with time? Do you really get to a place where you are happy with the way things are, or do you feel like you'll always have to live with some sadness due to the compromises you've had to make? I understand that it's not a question that can be answered for me and that...

Hey Kevin, Thanks for your responses I really appreciate your dedication to my cause. We are all doing really well and i feel like I am getting a handle on things. The biggest challenge (and it's not earth shattering) I have had to deal with is them having sex. My wife really helped me to...

I understand, thank you for the advice. :)

Hey guys, so believe it or not, things are going so well. After my last post and all the comments I received, I was going to talk to my wife after the retreat about what I needed reassurance wise. Turns out I didn't need to because all my insecurities were in my head and she gave me all the...

Thanks galagirl for your last thoughtful posts they were very helpful to me. You have great advice. Is it normal for me to feel lonely and sad. Cause I am having a hard day and I just feel like things will never be normal. My wife gets back from her retreat tonight and the three of us are going...

Thank you for your advice. What concerns me about asking is that I shouldn't have to ask her to tell me I love you. I don't want her to say I love you, or I miss you because I asked her, to me the hurt comes when I realize that she didn't say those things or come to those feelings naturally if...

Hey guys, Things are going pretty good I think, a lot of emotions to navigate through here. There have been some interesting positive developments, but I also have some minor concerns I could use some perspective on. Well, recently, we were intimate for the first time in a while and that was...

Thanks for all the replies everyone and thanks Kevin for your analogy. I know it may seem like nothing is getting through to me, but I assure you it is. All your advice is helping me through this process and I feel more positive and confident then I did before. My wife is doing things right...

You really hit the nail on the head when you said that I need to deal with my insecurity on my own and stop trying to put that on my wife. Yeah these are my personal problems she can't fix I just hope that I didn't set things too far back for us having had that talk I did with her. I know she...

Yeah I think you're right. I just had a talk with my wife about it and for some clarity. She basically told me that men and women are different in terms of what they need from intimacy. I feel like the sex itself needs to happen in order to feel like we are connecting. She says that we need to...

Thank you all for your insights they have been really helping me. I'm having a really hard time this morning however. My wife says we are doing well and feels like we're about 80% back to where we once were. I read this article about jealousy and the author suggests picturing your lover with her...

I was wondering, did any of your relationships suffer from diminished intimacy time because of anther lover in the picture. It's not a hard stretch to think that with two lovers the sex for one might not be as frequent because she is only one woman after all. If he is over a lot which he is, I'm...

Okay, thank you for the advice. I am coming to the same conclusions in my head. More patience and understanding in the bedroom is definitely needed here. I'll try to pace myself cause I know that I am the most emotionally unstable one here. Chrissy, thank you for your comforting insights, you...

One of the things my wife said that was confusing to her was the juxtaposition of the NRE with her boyfriend and the regular intimacy between us in the bedroom. She said she can't reconcile that in her head. I sure sensed it and even before things began she said she was having a little freak out...

Thank you Len51 for your perspective. Believe me I have struggled long and hard over the things you have addressed here. I know I am monogamous and don't want to share my wife but it's a sacrifice I'm more willing to make because of the positive benefits I have seen. This arrangement is not as...

Thank you Kevin for all that you've said. I don't have a lot people I can communicate these delicate subjects with, so it means a lot. We are making positive progress I can assure you of that. I think we have come through the worst of it. (we almost divorced, but that's not how we deal with...