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Thank you all for your responses. It is so helpful to hear that I am not the only person living through these experiences. I guess I may have misrepresented how the question came up. We were talking about how my feelings have changed toward her seeing him, and how I really only feel sad about it...

My wife and I have been married for 20+years. She has also had a boyfriend for the last year and a half. Although he lives an hour and a half away, they get together every other week or so. Their relationship started at my encouragement. I was consumed with fantasies of my wife's sexual...