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I see a lot of potential causes for strong, conflicted emotions here. You didn't state that you had a problem with the live-in partner or the fact that your husband had kids with her... but was that a smooth experience? Might unaddressed emotions from that situation be bleeding into this one...

Sounds like you're being as reasonable as you can possibly be, in the face of a potentially questionable decision by your partner. You stated your concerns, and it sounds like he agreed they were reasonable. Keeping your concerns to yourself would likely have caused worse problems down the road.