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Hi JHolt! It sounds from what you’ve written here that you’re ‘ambiamorous’, which is to say, you could be happy in a monogamous or a polyamorous situation, depending on the people involved (and how much internal work and interpersonal negotiation you were up for). I can understand having...

Hey, MR603, I don’t know if you Facebook, but I’ve found the New England Poly group there to be a terrific resource. Cheers, A Fellow New Englander :D

I have some deep friendships with people that I consider part of my family. My closest friend and I have been ‘together’ for well over a decade. (MightyCupcake in my signature.) I also feel close to my husband’s best friend, who lived with us as a housemate for seven years, Em. We play D&D...

My advice is to have a few resources ready to share, if you think your family will want to know more about your relationship style when you introduce the idea to them. I don’t live close to my family, so I chose to tell them over email; we had one on one follow-up conversations when I visited...

All is quiet on the home front. I’ve been enjoying RacingSnail’s vacation from working immensely... I won’t feel like he’s truly settled in here until he’s working on a regular schedule, but he has certainly unpacked and met a lot of my friends, and gotten looped into the household chores. We’ve...

I highly recommend you see your doctor beforehand, just to make sure there are no underlying health issues that you’re unaware of. Be safe, have fun!

What has polya taught you? I’ve learned that even the best of romantic partners don’t always make compatible housemates, that this is a model of building family and friendships and cultivating romantic relationships that really works for me, and to keep a firm hold on my individuality in every...

Thanks, PinkPig! We’re safely home. :) It was a long, eventful vacation, highlights of which included hitting it off splendidly with RacingSnail’s mom, seeing new wildlife and landscapes, and a whole lot of good driving weather and very little traffic. Now starts the real adventure!

Countdown: 5 days. Shit’s getting real, y’all! I’ve got my to-do list broken down by the day. Everything’s ordered and delivered (I needed a few things for my trip) but nothing’s packed for this trip, at least on my end! RacingSnail is utterly overwhelmed (of course) but has gotten a little...

Countdown: 12 days. I have a lot to do in the next 12 days, and it’s just a pale imitation of how much RacingSnail has to do!! We’re working to support each other through this busy time with texting every morning and evening. He has decided to send his stuff with Greyhound (except the books and...

Hey, Tulip, it sounds to me like you already know, deep down, that trying to do this type of non-monogamy with your fella is going to be really, really, difficult for you. Would you need to go on antidepressants to handle it? Maybe. Would you need to do deep, difficult, ongoing psychological...

Hey there, veryconfused! If you poke around this site some, you may run across the term ‘NRE’ or ‘New Relationship Energy’. It’s basically what we polyfolk call that mad rush of feel-good brain chemicals that comes from getting involved with a new person (especially sexually). It seems pretty...

Hello, Chickenz! It sounds to me like you three have a good thing going. :) I too remember that feeling, of having a sense that something unorthodox should upset me, but being not at all upset about it! There’s no reason why your situation should inevitably have to change if everybody is...

Countdown: 57 days Happy half-anniversary to RacingSnail and me! 2.5 years achieved. :p I don’t usually celebrate halfway through the year, but it amuses me that this falls on Independence Day, so I take a minute to acknowledge what the fireworks are *really* about. :D I can’t WAIT to see...

Countdown is at 63 days! :eek: My first two weekly countdown letters have been ‘7 things I can’t wait to do together’ and ‘7 songs that make me think of you’. :D My temporary housemate has found her next living situation, so the way will be clear for me soon to do a deep clean of RacingSnail’s...

Countdown: 73 days. Plane ticket has been acquired. RacingSnail will start mailing things in our direction soon! Summer vacation is upon us. Kiddo and I will be leaving next Monday to spend a week and a half with my parents! This weekend is the local fireworks, and the weather looks good for...

Countdown: 101 days. I’m hoping to buy my plane ticket tonight! RacingSnail is not appreciably further along in his packing and getting ready to move process than the last time I wrote, but he had a vacation in CA with his sister and ran the Ogden Marathon, and caught a cold. Poor thing...

I don’t change the sheets very often, but I virtually always put down a towel for sex stuff. :D

Hey, Coleenie, This is a timely topic for me, as my long term long distance partner is moving in with my family (me, husband, kiddo) in the first week of September. And I just had a conversation with my husband (while we ate sandwiches in the car in the Costco parking lot) about how at some...

Hello and welcome, rdr2! It sounds like your first relationship is more complicated than a lot of people’s firsts. I think it’s pretty common for people in the polyamorous community to share your feelings about cheating. Plenty of people have a hard limit around cheating or facilitating...