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With some people it just takes time. I always get performance anxiety the first few times with a new partner. It's just something that happens. Eventually it does go away for me, so I don't worry too much about it. I just try to stay away from one-night stands (which are not really what I'm...

Don't assume the friendship is over. I know it hurts to know you can't confide in your friend like you thought you could, but you need to understand that this is a difficult thing for a lot of people to wrap their heads around. I went through a similar ordeal with my best friend when I...

If I read correctly, he's upset about a whole lot more than that. He was hoping to have a friend to confide in, someone to share his struggles with. Instead he got preached at. If I went to a trusted friend hoping for support and instead got told that what I was doing was wrong and I needed to...

I'm beginning to think the same thing. And in a way she's already prepared me for it. She never was all that affectionate with me. She took kind of a nonchalant attitude with me. If I wanted her affection, I had to initiate, which most of the time I didn't.

No, it was never ever our plan to stay together forever. She was going to marry my roommate eventually and find another woman to pass me off to after she had taught me the skills. She was going to train me to be a ladies' man. ;) If anything, my fantasies go more in the direction of "Maybe we...

I think that's another dimension that makes this so hard. I don't want to send her away. This would be much easier if I did, but I don't. I still miss her. Some friends have suggested I start dating somebody else, and they may be right. That might be what it will take before I can finally move on.

So I've recently broken up with my first girlfriend, who was in a poly relationship with both me and my roommate (full story is at http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25186). This morning, I woke up and was getting ready to leave for work, and she was there having breakfast. My...

That, I think, was part of the problem. I may be wrong about this, but I don't think she wanted to trust me. I don't think she wanted me to try to make it up to her and to make the relationship work again. But I don't really know what she wanted. All I know is she seemed very angry and thought I...

i went to a rave tonight and partied all night long. :) Ran into some old friends I haven't seen in a while. I needed that!

Thanks for the feedback! Several of my friends have been saying the exact same things to me. I do have self-esteem issues. I have a hard time standing up for myself. Always have. But this is a part of myself I need to learn how to change, because this isn't the worst possible outcome from it...

The next time I saw her she must have noticed the guilty look on my face, because she asked if I had anything to confess, and so I came clean to her about it. She was very, very angry with me! I didn't take anything else for the rest of the weekend, but it was too late. The promise had been...

Then one day we were talking and she announced that she had been talking with him and had figured out that he was the primary (implying I was the secondary). I felt uncomfortable with this, but didn't say anything about it. She started seeing him a lot more often (almost every night), and me...

So I have officially had my first ever poly relationship, which as it turns out is also my first relationship, period. It ended about 2 weeks ago and it was, shall we say, a learning experience! It all started after a mutual friend of both me and my roommate had gone through a rough breakup...

So today BrownEyedGirl broke up with me. She said there was another guy she had started dating just 1 week before she started dating me, that her feelings for him were stronger than they were for me, and as of today they decided to be exclusive with each other. I replied that although I was...

So as a result of many factors: extreme shyness, growing up a religious fundamentalist, etc. I have never had a girlfriend. I didn't lose my virginity until age 30 (just one year ago!), had a couple of one-night stands and while they were fun they were not really what I was looking for. And now...

So I looked at the link. So a lot of the specific details are different, but I see a lot of parallels. Basically an intense focus on only ever doing what "glorified the lord" and an entire body of literature and training sessions/revival meetings/etc. devoted to that singular theme. I still...

Nope, I can't say I'm familiar with ATI. What does it stand for? I grew up in a small independent Christian church (with pentecostal/evangelical leanings) in the rural midwest. I'm the only one in my family so far to have questioned the religion, so it's tough sometimes trying to relate to them...

Point taken! I must admit, I do feel very inspired by Freetime. I have almost no relationship experience and I find myself wondering, if I should happen to end up in a poly relationship (deliberately or otherwise), will I struggle with these same feelings? I guess there's an alpha personality...

So, where to begin? I guess I'll start with my back story. So for most of my life I have always been the shy nerdy guy. I only worked up the courage to ask women out once in a blue moon. Add to that the fact that I grew up in a highly conservative religious environment where any deviation from a...

I am fascinated by this thread! I must admit I have been following this story with some interest! I gotta be honest--while I don't watch soap operas, checking in on this thread as a lurker was kinda the equivalent for me! :p I wish you well in your endeavors. And if you have any really hot...