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Thank you so much, Kdt. Life allowing, I will come back. My brief (and regrettably fake) dip into poly was lovely. When I sort my life out I will try to embrace this style.

Thanks for all your answers. I don't think lying in such an important matter is justified, ever. The plot has thickened a bit. She tells me she's been lying to her BF all this time by telling him that we haven't been an item for a long time. And there is a third man she's been seeing. The...

We are waiting for the end of the hollidays to lawyer up. She is looking for an apartment to rent. I asked her to move out of my bedroom. I also put on some restraints about money, as I discovered she is spending a lot of our family money in the guy. Including cocaine. :mad:

For the sake of brevity, I omitted something important: Lately I was quite suspicious that she was still seeing her BF. I at least 3 occasions I told her "I know you were with him, and I accept it as long as we can talk it out and you make efforts to stop it. But please come clean. I am already...

A lot of food for thought there, thanks a lot. We've already been to two couple's therapists at no avail. With the first one we only lasted two sessions before I decided to call it off- the therapist was disrepectfull to me. With the second one we lasted about 12 sessions, and then my wife...

My thoughts exactly.

Thanks for your kind words, folks. I just can't begin to fathom why she did it. I guess the attraction is too strong, and she isn't honest enough to say it. And that she didn't care for my pain. She says she hid the affair to protect me, which is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard...

Well, so much for polyamory. I just found out that my wife is going on with her affair behind my back. Polydivorce will be more like it.

I honestly don't know what would I have done if my wife had asked right away about having a BF. I can only guess that at first I would have tried to talk her out of it. Probably after a lot of talking, I would have accepted it if certain criteria was met, mainly regarding higyene and discretion...

Thanks a lot for your kind replies, folks. I know I will be pestering you with lot of questions as time goes bye. BTW, thankfully my ban was promptly removed!

Please be kind with me. I am a jealous, egotistic person. I know nothing about poly. I have done wrong things, and I am still doing some. But I want to learn. I want to explore. I want to change. My wife and I had a decade of mono, happy marriage. We have been in fact the poster children for...