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  1. S

    My poly partner has a mono mentality...

    I don't want to derail the thread by latching onto this issue, but how exactly can a man do this with a woman without the woman choosing for the exact same experience? There are two tangoing, aren't there?
  2. S

    searching for meaning

    My perspective is that if you just lose someone completely through divorce or whatever, you hurt a lot for a long time but it slowly gets better. If you are in a situation where you have the option of allowing that person to continue loving you despite also loving someone else, can you...
  3. S

    life long commitment

    Experiments like posting my thoughts on a discussion forum and listening to what people think? Anyone care to explain in clear language why I'm being harassed and outed? Is there something you think I'm up to that I'm not saying? I've heard that people think I'm intentionally trolling...
  4. S

    life long commitment

    Using terms interchangeably implies they mean the exact same thing. Terms mean exactly what they mean, but what they represent sometimes overlaps. Polygamy does indeed refer to marriage (although monogamy isn't typically used to refer only to marriage despite the "gamy"). Polygamy has...
  5. S

    life long commitment

    True. I would assume so. Not so much about destination as purpose. If the purpose is just entertainment, is it (am I) really worth the investment? idk. I don't want to (ab)use or be (ab)used. I don't want to be defined by someone I don't want to be defined by, even if interacting with them...
  6. S

    Boyfriend led me to poly then freaked out when I began to practice it...

    Good post. While I agree with all the posts that say don't hesitate to move on if this guy is a jerk, it's nice to hear someone remind us that there's strength in sticking with it, giving someone a chance, and relativizing their "bratiness" (I liked that you used the word, "brat) as just a...
  7. S

    Happily Ever After

    No I don't. You don't care enough what I think to understand it deeply so could you at this point stop clarifying your strawman of me to others as if you're an expert?
  8. S

    Happily Ever After

    Ok, please enlighten me. I've been working on understanding platonic love and non-platonic love as both forms of love instead of hierarchizing them. My idea is that platonic polyamory is licit and common in mainstream culture because monogamy is/was primarily designed to control sexual...
  9. S

    Happily Ever After

    What about like a Will & Grace type sitcom but with poly? That show actually could have incorporated poly with all the different relationships that went on. They must just not have thought about it. Although, could Will have been described as having Grace as a platonic primary while dating...
  10. S

    life long commitment

    Yeah, I really don't get it. I think it's because I don't subscribe to assumptions about mutually exclusive concepts and I try to philosophize other ways of categorizing things. So when I started trying to do that with monogamy,serial monogamy, and polyamory, all these polyamorists started...
  11. S

    life long commitment

    I didn't rant about people who knight themselves teachers. I ranted about you personally being hypocritical. Now do I get to ridicule your "reading comprehension skills." Look, I don't know if you or anyone else has noticed but there's a pattern of baiting me and attacking me when I stand up...
  12. S

    life long commitment

    Look, if your view of modernization is that authoritarianism and hierarchical submission overcame freedom, go with that but don't call me a troll for pointing out that modernity also brought with it the replacement of monarchical sovereignty with democracy. So rude. I would like to see how you...
  13. S

    life long commitment

    That series of quote boxes within quote boxes came out quite artistic imo.
  14. S

    life long commitment

    Serial monogamists reserve the right to get divorced and date someone new. The hurdle is just higher. Why do you say "mono consciousness" is a twisting of words? I think it does a pretty good job of describing the subjective state of being focussed on one person, in whatever context...
  15. S

    Happily Ever After

    I used to resent sitcoms for painting an over-idealized picture of family and relationships. However, now that I'm aware of the harsh realities to the point of saturation, I like such sitcoms for providing a happy escape from the reality and providing moral lessons about how to deal with bad...
  16. S

    Boyfriend led me to poly then freaked out when I began to practice it...

    What if he had said "responsibility" instead of "burden?"
  17. S

    Happily Ever After

    Would you like to see popular fiction oriented toward poly relationships? Can you picture romantic comedies, sitcoms, children's stories, etc. with polyamorous characters and narratives? Do you have ideas for a story line or issues that should be dealt with by popular media regarding poly love...
  18. S

    12-Hour Edit-Window, Abbreviations, and Stickies, Oh My!

    I'm starting to appreciate you for your directness.
  19. S

    life long commitment

    Instead of us arguing, please just try to understand my pov. I understand yours. What I'm talking about is that monogamy is about devotion to a single person. So if you think of serial monogamy as that kind of devotion but for a limited time, say a few years, that is monogamy but if you look...
  20. S

    Boyfriend led me to poly then freaked out when I began to practice it...

    I'm trying to picture what would make your primary happy. Is it that he wants you to spend time with your child and your secondary so he can spend more time with you when your child is with dad? I think doing childcare with a woman makes a lot of men feel secondary regardless of their status...
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