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I have to disagree - Im bi and Im not attracted to everone I meet. Im still picky, I still look for certain characteristics in a partner, and I still am more attracted to women than men; maybe because I have been with more women than men, but that doesnt mean that Im not open to having fun with...

Hi all! This is the OP (the BF). Thank you all for your comments. My gf and I both are learning a lot. Yes, we are trying to work it all out. Right now our boundaries are blurry and fluid, and we are trying to decide what will work for both of us without either of us feeling hurt or trapped...

This is the gf of the OP again. I'm curious about this, because I've had a lot of discussions concerning respecting other people's feelings about my actions. Where is the line between respecting and simply giving in? See, I grew up with poly, and I honestly see sex as a way of communicating or...

Oh lordy. Okay, this is the gf here. Where to start? The "maybe I shouldn't have" thing-- I never actually said that; what I said was, "I feel weird about having done that," because I didn't know I had it in me. I didn't know I was that kind of person. And also because part of me is...

WOAH! Chill, please. Thank you for working out what was said, but please don't freak out. Okay, I need to be honest and clarify a couple things. My gf's ex-bf is J, not D. D is another guy that lives in the same city as J. When we talked BEFORE she went away for the weekend she told me that she...

Hi all! Male mono here, I'm 22. My gf is poly, and she is 20. (Just to answer before it's asked.) My gf just got back from visiting her family and her ex-bf in a city 5-6 hours away from where we both go to college. She told me before she left that she was going to sleep with her ex-bf. She...

I have met L and Z who are her roommates, but she didnt tell me until after it happened. This was 1 week ago and we talked about it. somewhere in that conversation, she had told me that she was going to a city 5 hours away to be with her family and her ex-bf, whom she wanted to sleep with. She...

Hi! Im mono and my gf is poly (just cuz you said you were looking for a mono perspective). WOW this is quite a situation. I cant speak for D but I can share my experience. My gf told me she was poly when we first started going out, but I didnt really know what that meant. We would sit at coffee...

UPDATE: rpcrazy: I am 22 and my gf is 20. if that is young then yes we are young. but why does that give you "low amounts of hope"? we are both very openminded and honest with each other. As for the empathy thing-Im not necessarily looking for her to "walk in my shoes" and to feel how I feel...

Hi L and welcome! Im mono too and this forum has helped me with some issues with me and my poly gf. The main thing I have to keep telling myself is: "It has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with me. How can it have nothing to do with me? IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! (I know krazy...

Hi all! male mono here, and my gf is poly. Thank you all for your experience, strength, and hope in my previous posts. "The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference." Quote from the book: The Seven Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly (Thank you LovingRadiance for your referral;)) So...

Exactly! How did you learn to overcome those feelings without hurting your partner and without hurting yourself? My initial thoughts have been "how can someone be intimate with more than one person?"(these still pop up from time to time). but after reading and posting and learning and having a...

One thing I have heared a few times here and there - mainly from the ethical slut and a couple times my gf - is owning your own feelings. only higher power knows what his day was like leading up to the wet pants event. maybe he got his junk caught in his zipper or something and was already in a...

Personally I believe that the meaning of life is self improvement. So anything "worthwhile" is totally worth doing! ;) Yes I will definitely talk to her about what does and does not constitute cheating. And we totally understand that. we dont like to use a hierarchy, but her "primary"...

In my experience I have only ever been "in love" once. I felt sooo much love toward this person that it felt like I was swimming in it. Maybe because I was 16 and overrun with puberty and emotions, but thats how I felt at that time. Having said that, I do love a number of people. I love my...

Thank you all so very much for all of your comments! Im happy to have inspired such a dialogue. I kind of get this. An example may help me. My gf makes me feel loved, wanted, needed, cared for, etc. I know that I cant fulfill every need and desire she has, but that doesnt mean I dont want to...

Hi! male mono here. my gf is poly and we are both bisexual. We've been going out for a while now and up until a little over a month ago its been just us (I posted a thread at that time). I get poly on a mental level but im still trying to grasp it emotionally. Ive read the ethical slut and...

Thank you all for your support! I found a guy friend who is poly and we've been talking about it and its wonderful getting a perspective thats different from all of the hard-wired monos Ive been talking to. lol. my gf also gave me a copy of the ethical slut and Ive been reading that among...

Hi all! Im DD123. Im a male age 21 and I have a gf my age who is poly. We are both bisexual and go to the same college (we met in class). At the start of our relationship she wanted an open relationship and I agreed because I like to test the waters before I jump in. Since then our relationship...