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Thanks for sharing this. What happened to change your behavior? Was this when you were new to non-monogamy?

Yes, I think you're right. I think I was interpreting my emotions as jealousy when there was more going on. I'm new to non-monogamy and this is a new relationship, so it's been hard to sort it all out. So much of what I've been reading about non-monogamy is in the context of opening up an...

At times I've been uncomfortable with this situation with her, and I think I was being too hard on myself and assuming it was jealousy, because I've struggled with that a little bit. And I was worried that I wanted him to tell her about me because secretly I wanted that relationship to end; I...

I think this is some of what's been confusing to me: we had a conversation early on about lies of omission and how we both dislike them. And I think that's what's happening in his relationship with Kate: he's clear that he doesn't want to be exclusive or escalate with her, but he's also...

Thanks, this is helpful. Can you explain a bit more about what you mean about control and sharing information and compartmentalizing? This touches on my concerns, especially the part about what it might mean for his relationship with me. I trust that he really thought that they were on the...

Well, I think he has thought it was pretty clearly FWB, and it's only recently that she's made it clear she's interested in more. And his relationship with me has been developing at the same time, but we're also long distance. It's been confusing to me to figure this all out since the openness...

This seems like a good approach. They are both generally aware that the other is dating other people, but she is likely assuming that he's involved in other FWB situations and nothing more serious. I'm uncomfortable, for example, that I know about her but she hasn't really consented to having...

Right, this is the distinction I've been trying to get at: the difference between my boundaries and what happens in their relationship. It's only been in the past few days that I've realized this disclosure is a boundary for me. I did tell Jack that, but we haven't had a chance to talk about it...

Thanks for this. This felt like a reasonable boundary, and it's good to hear this. Yes, this has been my concern as well. You articulated it well. Yes, I agree that he's not trying to be deliberately shady at all. I do trust him. This is new for both of us, and I think this is part of what's...

Hi all, I'm new here, but I've been reading a bunch. I (44, F) am in a new long distance open relationship with a man I'll call Jack (44, M). We met about four months ago in my town when he was visiting, and it became clear to both of us quickly that this could be a significant relationship. We...