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  1. Z

    Happy with new relationship-domestic hell

    And the other side of that coin is getting so caught up in trying to 'connect' with others (physically, emotionally, etc.) because you get that awesome rush of NRE, that you really aren't paying attention to growing as an individual...you're simply grasping for any liquid to quench your thirst...
  2. Z

    Happy with new relationship-domestic hell

    Oh Mono...I know i'm new here but i've read many of your posts and I just want to say You are The Awesome! ;) Cori.... I hope you're still coming back to read these posts even if you don't feel comfortably replying. We all will have varying opinions, take them with a grain of salt, breathe...
  3. Z

    Explaining My Poly Needs to a Mono Partner

    Update..... I finally pushed past the fear and shared everything with my SO. He was/is of course understandably upset and actually couldn't talk about any of it the first night. He said his body, brain, and heart just sunk into the floor (this kills me)...but I knew it would be hard. I didn't...
  4. Z

    Trying to not get upset/angry

    Yea....I'd agree with this wholeheartedly. Angels....it's okay...take a deep breath. You ARE going to feel this way sometimes (probably even a lot in the beginning), it won't go away over night. It does hurt. Have you sat down with your SO for a heart to heart? Have the two of you discussed...
  5. Z

    Trying to not get upset/angry

    Oh Angels.... *big hugs* ....I so TOTALLY feel your pain. In my relationship i'm the poly with a mono partner. Even tho i'm poly I too suffer from Comparisons Disease....INTENSELY. It's something i've struggled with my whole life, and it doesn't just rear it's head in romantic involvements, but...
  6. Z

    Explaining My Poly Needs to a Mono Partner

    Thanks so much for sharing this Capricorny...this thought has really helped me wrap my head around everything. We are fluid as humans in who we are as we grow older, as our relationship is fluid, and we both influence choices the other makes. There are no ultimatums here....and I want this to be...
  7. Z

    I'm mono and in love with a poly

    Being new to this as well....my best advice is to read through the articles here: http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html#AnchorP1 One thing I came across in this forum which caught me by surprise is the term compersion....which is essentially the opposite of jealousy in that you feel a sense of...
  8. Z

    Everyone is Poly underneath

    I've also found the articles on this website to be invaluable...some of the most well written thoughtful commentary i've come across in years. I've printed a few of them out to share. The topics on communication, self esteem, and jealousy were incredibly helpful and I feel so much more calm...
  9. Z

    Everyone is Poly underneath

    What a wonderful thing! Embracing myself as poly is so shiny new to me i'm hesitant to jump into the fray. I'm generally a quiet introvert and still mulling what all of this means to me and without fear of where to place the next footstep without falling off the cliff. Perhaps that's not the...
  10. Z

    I have a crush

    Remember to breathe! As my SO says...embrace the feeling of fear when it comes your way, it means you've got an opportunity to grow.
  11. Z

    Explaining My Poly Needs to a Mono Partner

    Thanks for making me laugh out loud! It's interesting that this started a side discussion of loving friendship vs. romantic love, perhaps not the best way to describe it but after reading the comments i'm unsure I could do better without writing a full length book with footnotes and reference...
  12. Z

    Still Blinking in the Sun

    Hallo Rusty....I can feel your smile from here! I'm new to these boards as well, haven't made and intro myself as of yet. I did start a thread asking for suggestions on sharing my feelings with my husband. It's still sort of sinking in that this is who I am. Unfortunately I have a bad habit of...
  13. Z

    Explaining My Poly Needs to a Mono Partner

    Thanks so much for the comments so far...much appreciated. I guess I did not make this clear but I've stopped most contact with my friend, which btw was never more physical other than hugs and hand holding because I wasn't about to go down the road of having an affair. We are JUST friends...
  14. Z

    Explaining My Poly Needs to a Mono Partner

    As someone new to polyamory and still exploring this possibility for my life I was going to pose the question of how one would know for sure that you're poly. After digging through quite a few threads I came across a comment by someone that resonated with me.... "Poly is about relationships and...
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