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Superjast et al, Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I'll definitely try more face-to-face meet-ups. My wife is also willing to help by talking to potential matches. I should realize that everyone is different and that many women will need many weeks (possibly months) of talk before meeting. My...

jkelly, thanks for the insights. I hadn't even realized that I was approaching my search from such a "secondary"-centric point of view until you pointed it out. That is probably an unusual way of going about the process, and definitely was causing me to have limits on my thinking. Also, you are...

Ariakas & EugenePoet, Thanks for your insights! I'm accustomed to being competent in most of my endeavors, so running up against a brick wall really caught me off guard. Also, for my wife it seemed almost effortless to find good matches (she mostly just had to go through prospective candidates...

SchrodingersCat, You could well be right. The most consistent contact I've had online has been with women who were already in open relationships. They are at least willing to message back and forth. On the more vanilla sites, I see many women who either want a relationship leading to marriage...

Redpepper, I have found some women who sound like good matches based on their online profiles. The difficulty then is convincing them to meet me. Most don't reply to my initial "hello" message. Those who do reply usually decline further contact due to discomfort with my poly situation. There are...

I'm glad to have found this forum! I've taken a few days to read through threads. It has been very educational. I really appreciate so many people sharing their experiences in this lifestyle. My problem might not be exactly a poly problem, but is a dating problem in a poly setting. I'm male...