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This whole revenge/getting even thing is way off the mark. I honestly didn't understand Mrs. Cheesehead's perspective. After an hour of non-productive discussion with her, I hoped that you guys could give us a fresh voice, which you have. The "self love" description helps her to understand my...

She has never wanted me to look at porn. Before, I took that to mean that she prefer I don't do it. Since we've been talking about this stuff in more detail, she's clarified that she doesn't consent at all, and therefore it isn't "consensual sex." What's new is our improved openness and...

I don't think this has anything to do with being self-centered. Actually, I'm offended by your statement. Her initial reaction to this conversation was WAY better than my initial reaction to her request to see another guy. We just have to sort out our positions on this stuff, given the new...

NYCindie, good point that there are no hard rules about it in polyamory. I guess we're trying to form our own rules/boundaries and ran into this minor sticking point. River, my wife never said outright that all my thoughts should be of her. That was my interpretation of her responses. Perhaps I...

What's the polyamory perspective on internet porn? I think it's fun. My wife thinks it's not cool because there's no love involved. Before poly came up, I could understand her issue with porn, because I should be thinking about her, and her alone. Now it doesn't seem so clear.

Brett Favre ... the man that put the 'F' in WTF? Thanks for the candid and pragmatic advice. We've sorted a lot of stuff out in the last couple days and we're doing a lot better now. It turns out that many of my weaknesses are strengths of the coworker, which highlighted everything that I do...

My wife and I are going through a similar situation. She's 26 and I'm 34. She recently came out to me as poly and it didn't go over so well. My advice is to explore the topic as a team instead of just informing him that this is something you want to do. Be patient and give him time to...

I'm glad that Mrs Cheeshead was able to write such a detailed history. It conveys a lot of the frustration that we've experienced in living the "American Dream". We fell in love in the college lifestyle and have spent our time as "grown ups" wondering what happened to the good old days. An...

I can understand how she may feel neglected. We took on a lot of stress in the last couple years including moving to a new city, both getting new jobs, buying a new house, getting married and concentrating on getting out of debt. I've tried to do well by her and provide for her. This is our...

Okay, so I don't think that came across correctly. I don't think she's trying to just get revenge. I honestly believe that she has uncovered a very important part of her identity that has been to this point suppressed. My issue is that she keeps explaining how I can't fulfill all her needs...

Thanks for the support everyone. Obviously its very hard to leave this woman that I love very much. I'm not sure if Poly is for me but there is at least glimmer of hope that i can do this and we can stay together. We talked a lot last night and she clarified that it was no threat to leave...

My wife and I have been married for about a year now (after 4+ years of dating). The topic of open relationships has come up before and we each found it an interesting idea, but quickly decided it wasn't for us. Now my wife met another man, has strong feelings for him and wants to start a...