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You are all awesome! Thank you! I think I should just go with it. My partner doesn't want to know much about what happens with hubby, although he will happily talk about him if the conversation comes up. Hubby likes to know "vague details, just ideas" about the sex stuff. This was part of the...

I have a husband of 5 years (together for 10), and a partner of four months, we started as a BDSM play-pairing and have become more deeply connected. It has been hard for all of us because it is new. My husband is mono and we were monogamous until a couple of years ago and my partner has never...

Just to add another supporting message. I'm the poly one in a mono/poly marriage finding ways to open up. I very much like your list of "I wants." They are clear, well defined and reasonable. It took a while for hubby to be able to express himself like that and I believe you should feel proud...

You posted a reply on one of my threads. I don't post much so I checked you out and saw this. I just wanted to say your replies are fantastic. I'm tempted to collect them all and keep them as a "how to guide to poly". They are incredibly detailed and well considered. I think because there are...

Update I'm just updating really, because it is a cool place to keep some thoughts. If any of you want to ciomment, that is always cool. If not, fair dos. Hubby decided that I should go ahead with a BDSM session without anal and vaginal intercourse. He was worried but everytime I offered to...

JaneQ, thank you! Hubby and I have just contacted our therapist for an emergency appointment. Hopefully we can get one next week. If not, it probably won't be until the end of June. We have had quite a heated discussion this afternoon. It still didn't become an argument but it was as close as...

Really, I don't get why this would be settling? Surely, the whole point of being poly is recognising that people cannot fulfil us completely? I still don't see why I should give up on what is a wonderful relationship just because of this. My husband and I make each other happy. We have been...

I fell in love with him before we had sex. We were friends for about six months and then one day, bam, I knew he was the guy I wanted to marry before we had even kissed. He has never bored me (except in bed). He is kind, funny, intelligent, and a wonderful, wonderful man. I love him more now...

That is sad to hear, I hope everything works out the way you want and need.

Oh no, he is fine with me hugging and snuggling with people. I'm very touchy feely and he has always been fine with that (to the point that other people have often questioned him about it, even before we started opening up - i'm actually less touchy feely now than I used to be, probably because...

It was an outright and immediate "no." It was a very civilized, loving discussion. We are a very solid couple and can chat about these things without hystrionics or anything else, but it was still a no. Quick summary of what the husband said: - The LDR BDSM thing would be the easiest entry into...

redpepper and baggagepatrol: Thank you for your interest! I have thought about talking to him, obviously. I'm just scared really. I should trust him more because he has been really supportive. Even when I gave myself bruises (whoops) in a fun session with my play-partner and had to explain...

With my husband it wasn't medical at all, it was all mental. The first psychologist just tried to tackle "the penis." It never seemed to occur to him that if things weren't progressing there must be some underlying causes. Within two sessions the specialist sexual relations/polyamory therapist...

Update: Very delayed! I doubt anyone will read this, but it is a handy place to update my story if anyone is checking. I went to the therapist. AMAZING!!!! Then husband came too: revolutionary!!!!! It just goes to show the difference a proper coach with real expertise in sexual difference...

I'm in the process of opening up my 10 year long mono relationship. I'm poly, he's mono. I'm kink, he's vanilla. We've been opening up for about 10 months (my other thread outlines the very beginning of that process!). So far I have been building the trust and haven't been doing much other than...

Wow! Thanks everyone He hasn't had any physical tests done, no. That is a good idea though. He has agreed to try a different therapist which may help. Our current one only wants to deal with PE and not the other issues. We are going on holiday today and will be away from everything, internet...

Thank you everyone! Mainly it is nice to hear that I am not a weirdo or completely dysfunctional or immoral for having these needs and seeing this as a problem. My husband and I are going on holiday tomorrow and have agreed to have lots of conversations. He is having a major freak-out at the...

Hi everyone I am beginning to realise that I am poly and that I always have been but didn't know that such a thing existed. I just thought I was weird or too highly sexed, or too emotional, or hadn't found the right person (blah blah blah). I am married to a very conservative man (I posted a...

I have a very high sex-drive and love deeply and passionately (perhaps too quickly sometimes). I have been in consensual nonmono relationships before. I never realised that there was a term for this, it just happened. As I progressed through other relationships where the man was mono I cheated...