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Great thread everyone! This may sound a little pedantic, but I'm a mathematician so defining stuff helps me....wouldn't a closed poly-fi quad need to have been 'open' on some level to allow it to get to 4 people? This would suggest that open, closed, mono, non-mono, poly are temporary states...

Yes, to be clear, GC would have an expectation of monogamy. As noted by TR, although it has not been explicitly stated by either party, it's somewhat of an accepted norm. Until poly is more widely known, anyway. I agree that I should be telling everyone everything. Note that GC is very long...

Fair enough, NYC. It does seem a little odd. Let me try to explain. Rob and Matt are more interested in me. I have pretty much no interest in being sexual with them, for the moment, anyway. However, as they have been in my life for a while now, it wouldn't feel right to simply cut them off...

When I think of defining an open relationship, I think of a primary couple who have decided that sexual fidelity is not important to them. In this case open ~= monogamish Theory question really, but is open a variant on poly or a completely different class of relationship?

***wave*** .

Thanks! Yes, I think a steady diet of Dan might be a good idea. Now I just need to wrestle my copy of Sex at Dawn back off the friend who has had it for months. 🙃 As a sideline to my main question, I wondered about how to deal with my lovers. Before I met Gentleman Caller (hilarious AND apt)...

How/when to bring up an interest in poly? Hello all, I've been interested, but never active, in poly relationships. Let's just say, there isn't really any scene for that where I'm living. Also I've never been involved in a very long-term relationship. 2 years is the longest I've done. and I've...

ps oops, forgot to mention that I'm mostly straight and reasonably vanilla, but have been known to deviate from both of these habits :D

Hello everyone, I have had an interest in polyamory for some years....have lurked about in forums and read The Ethical Slut. I have not had any poly relationships, but been involved long term with a few people who were in "mono" relationships. I had no problem with them having another person...