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From what I know, the most, say advanced (ugh) theory in jealousy was that it was compound emotion. Basically bunch of various reasons that are gathered under big tent name (and in practice most have to do with fear, but sometimes fear of losing and sometimes more of a fear based in self esteem...

Consent is never forever, it's continual thing. Even contracts in business cannot be, legally (afaik). You just have consequences from withdrawing. Just like in relationships. As for your relationship, didn't you have a say in that living together and those visits? I mean, typically people in...

I'm wary of applying population-scale concepts like intersectionality to individuals. I think *some other factor* hides a lot. What does it mean that they don't want polyamory? Does it mean they prefer monogamy? Okay, let's take it apart. So-- A) I'd prefer that my partner not have other...

I'm not sure how poly under duress makes any sense. Unless it's some DV situation (which is illegal), I... I mean, say someone cheated and now wants polyamory or bust. Sure, there's the unethical part of cheating... So scratch that. Someone went to a desert and meditated for 40 days and now...

Well... You encountered open marriage that has not very atypical structure constructed to make sure the marriage stays most important and secure, by accomodating the preferences of the two people involved that were incompatible with standard marriage structure. It apparently worked for a while...

I've been in both, haven't noticed much of a difference. Or rather, not exactly Vees, but zigzags, which I think are much more common. The only thing that's as rare as unicorn is FMM. Never seen it in the wild. Edit: lol, the newest thread in the section looking for people is exactly an FM(M)...

Hmmm.... Tbh, i get a really big vibe you are being judgemental of the dude. The vibe is based on the descriptions you use, like ”sport-sex harem” where OP didn't divulge much about the guy motivations. And that's only one example. I mean, i am not criticizing your stance on the situation you...

I sometimes remember this whole thing and so did today. The latest links on the previous page do not work anymore. Franklin Veaux livejournal is scrubbed, and the polystairs website... Well, it is still up, except that Eve Rickert entry is gone. I think the parties might be indeed involved in...

Let me add two things that stand out: 1) It's unrealistic to makevplans about not developing feelings. It is somewhat realistic to make plans to not act on them (in practice, it means that 'only sex no love' is worthless promise/rule; 'only casual sex no relationship' is somewhat possible but...

Well, let me quote this random post of yours as a start. In your shoes i would try to know how would i feel: 1) You keep having these orgies with the lineup AND you two have relationshio/dates where you have his full attention and what else youbwant. 2) You keep having sex with him one on...

Hmm. I honestly don't know what Felix could say otherwise before encounter with Sarah. I mean, from your OP it seems to me he wanted to have sex with her (and you likely know a lot more than me!). Did you want to hear it explicitly? I kind of... well, i once was 'chastized' (perhaps too strong...

That can lead to oversimplification here. They say okay, which means they are deciding they want this. They look hurt which means they feel bad when this happens. Both things can be true. Don't trust one thing, trust both. For all it's worth, maybe they are simply masochist? :D ;)

I see two possibilities. Either they are disregarding their own boundaries for some reason (lack of knowledge, fear of loss of love if they don't agree to others' needs, for example) and agreeing to something that will hurt them (likely repressing the knowledge at the moment of agreeing), or...

Thanks. Unfortunately, i already found it by searching, i think it would be helpful to include in the first post :) Also, that thread was a kind of trainwreck. Personally i started to wonder what was *his* story. It's often quite different in difficult relationships.

There is almost nothing about Eve in TGC. I summed it upthread. Nothing about Eve being abusive... seeing as they were still together at that point. He obviously wrote about her on their MTT blog. Nothing about abuse in either place, nothing about her being in any way bad. Or, actually, much of...

Btw, Louisa Leontiades responded to Elizabeth Sheff: http://louisaleontiades.com/response-to-dr-elisabeth-sheffs-critique-of-voices-from-the-game-changer/

Let me say that long time ago in a age before internet i read accounts on how mourning can tear people apart, close people, because we differ in how we process a loss and we are very sensitive in that period and less understanding. The account i remember, vaguely, was of a married couple that...

Let me harp a bit more about the finances. So, here, Celeste: In The Game Changer, there is a fragment about Divorce Lawyer asking FV questions, and on learning FV financially supported Celeste during her studies (yeah, well, that's not mentioned in these stories but it was in TGC) said...

Yes, i agree. But in some cases I think it goes much farther, and apology when there is an ongoing issue, an argument might mean conceding the argument. Which is sometimes good, but sometimes is not. And in this context apology might mean too much, especially considering FV seems to consider...

Actually, i'm kind of disappointed. Well, kind of. Eli is a very smart and experienced person and sociologist and her critique is accordingly good. Still, she doesn't follow her own statements, because her recomendations assume at many points FV was in the wrong here. I mean, the...