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I would first like to thank all of you for your responses (and any others that might come). I will admit that when I first started reading them, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. I wanted to defend myself, but instead I thought I would try something different. I pondered on each post...

Dingedheart, thanks for the reply. To be completely honest, I did not think there was any subject that had not been broached between the three of us. I know my reaction to her post was probably not the best, but I am human, just like everyone else. The one thing that hit me the worst is that...

NYCindie: Thank you for your comments. A lot of what you said does ring true for me. I admit that I am not always the best as expressing what I need, mostly out of fear of being seen as uncooperative, unfeeling, and just plain selfish. But honestly, I have gotten to the point that I really...

The link to her post: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19612. We have talked about these feelings in detail before, in fact, just after Christmas. I understand that we each are validated in feeling the way we feel, and I will admit to keeping things on an even keel to try not to...

Hello, all. I am seeking help, advice, I don't know what, before I lose my mind. I feel no matter which way I turn, there is no way out, and I just don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I are in a "triad" with a lady we met seven months ago. She was married at the time, and all four of...

Heidi, I have to agree with Redpepper. He does not want to seem to take on the time involved to create a special relationship with you. And telling you that he will not fall in love with you until you overcome the jealousy? That totally sounds like emotional blackmail to me. No one deserves to...

Heidi: Another thing I would like to mention is this is something that is going to take time. It is not an "overnight transformation." I would have to agree with others in that if he is not willing to give you the time you need to adjust to the new and find your balance, then you need to move...

First, I would like to say that I think jealousy is a normal reaction for anyone. That does not mean something is wrong with you; it just means that you need to find a way to deal with it, especially if you are going to try to make this relationship work and be a part of a poly lifestyle. I...

My biggest issue is how are some of the ways that others have dealt with the insecure feelings? I would like to tell you that what you are feeling is completely and totally normal. First, I suggest that you have an open line of communication with both parties at all times. This has been the...

Love is not quantifiable. You can love them both (or more). It will just be in a different way I have some experience with this one...it was one of my main concerns when my husband and I decided that this was what we wanted. For years, I have been his whole focus, and he has been mine. Now...

oh my, what a roller coaster you have been on!! I am sure this needs no repeating, but I totally agree with Magdlyn...you need to get out and get out NOW!! I admire your wanting to make things as easy as possible for S, but it does not seem he has the same respect for you. And if your being...

First, I want to wish you luck on your journey. I completely get what you are saying, and applaud the openness of you and Dylan to find this other person. My husband and I have brought a third person into our marriage. We started out as friends, and we both ended up falling in love with her, and...

@moose: I can totally see where you are coming from. I would even have to agree with you, that starting a "new" relationship is hard enough without "hiding" a part of yourself from that person. I do not think you are thinking too hard. This is a lot to process, and to see you making an effort...

I understand your wanting to do this the right way, and I in NO way want to tell you how to do that. Might I suggest, however, that this be something the two of you do together? I completely understand that your wife is shy and timid, but this is a hypothetical woman that apparently you both...

I think it is wonderful that you are at least trying to understand what it is he is going through and trying to adapt. I will tell you from my experience, that it is not an easy road to travel. It is one that our triad deals with on a daily basis. To me, it is a process to be gone through at a...

Our girlfriend told her mother first. She was not really accepting of the situation, however, she told her that she still loved her and given time, she would come around to accept it. My husband's mother does not know the complete story of our relationship. However, I do suspect when she finds...

Is it any different from mono love? Is it as intense? Is it better because you have the all of the good things, like caring, closeness, companionship, sex, without the insecurity and possessiveness, because you know someone else cares, and you have another person to turn to when things aren't...