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  1. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    The show was amazing. So good to be out just Gia and me, sharing something unique and beautiful (that particular lineup will very likely NEVER happen again and was very special to both of us). She was so alive and engaged and happy... we both were, I felt sexy as heck and confident and joyful...
  2. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    That was almost exactly a year ago now. I continued to fixate on the two of them in my heart, and in my Spotify playlists, but worked on releasing the feeling (barring a few instances where I was definitely obliquely flirting with them in various social media posts in a way that only they might...
  3. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    A new story — About 9 years ago now, I was in a show where I ended up making a bunch of new friends in my local theater scene (including my bf Pike 💜). One of them, with whom I worked closely, was a particularly sweet-hearted, wiry boy named Sammy. Another, with whom I had much less contact...
  4. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Also meant to say — entrainment is a great word I hadn't encountered before!
  5. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    💜💜💜💜 I so feel you!!! With the dancing thing, it's kinda complicated and personal but suffice to say it's a group of people and a place where she feels she can unmask more fully than anywhere else that isn't a fully private space. It makes sense in its full context, in an interesting way. But...
  6. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Haha yes love that! A "where are they now" type interview. I'm very glad to hear you've enjoyed them, they've been very interesting to write!
  7. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Rather than being sorry for myself these days about it all, I feel lucky. :) The pain was worth it because it feels like it all translated to growth, and because what I have now as a result is so precious that I would kill or die for it if, heaven forefend, ever so called upon. So I was...
  8. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Half tongue in cheek, half serious, talking more to myself than to you there really. I've always known it was probably worth investigating how my childhood factors into my life today, but I haven't done it much before, even when I did go to therapy. So it was useful to really think about it, and...
  9. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Oh wow... I've never seen the shift in my relationship with Gia described as spot-on as this: https://www.theferrett.com/2017/06/05/you-dont-have-to-break-up-with-them-one-of-the-hardest-decisions-in-polyamory/
  10. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Diagnose me as someone seeking a loving triad with a man and a woman because I wanted that desperately as a child but couldn't have it… as someone who seeks out men who don't treat me lovingly over those who do because of how messed up my early relationship with my dad was… as someone who seeks...
  11. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Actually, I did speculate recently on where the sadomasochistic tendencies come from and I was l was quite pleased with what I wrote, so I'll paste it below as a sidebar for anyone interested — If you're getting into the "why" of it, kink is complicated! On the one hand, I think that it's...
  12. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    My childhood and how it might impact my love life, huh? Yeesh. Guess we're doing this. Y'all get to see a side of me that the rest of the world doesn't, that's for sure! I have an early childhood memory that's strong because it was distressing. For the first time in my little life, probably...
  13. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    So to start off… it's pretty funny, looking back, that I gave this blog a title with the initials S.O.S., like for "Save Our Ship" (or for "Service Oriented Submission"... it also seems relevant that I wrote the title all in lowercase, a convention people sometimes use to indicate...
  14. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Oh and to think I was so wrapped up in the rest of what you said that I forgot the first part!! Thank you so much for sharing, and please thank him for me. Y'all's appreciation is appreciated. ^_^ That story was written in 2012, at the height of my Feelings about all this, of course. It was an...
  15. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Called outtttttt. Wow, what a stellar response, thank you. You're not wrong about much of it, and I've thought about much of it before, but... maybe not as deeply as I ought to, yet. I'm going to write a reply (probably a very long one) but not during the workday.
  16. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    I would absolutely love to know your thoughts! Thanks so much for reading, it's very gratifying to see it compared to a novel. Haha and you've won my heart forever by sharing my fanfic, I worked so dang hard on it. :) I didn't follow your blog closely back in the day either, it's all good, btw...
  17. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Well now... when I wrote that update above I truly thought that was it for me when it came to this site, but... well, considering how I started this story, it would be downright wrong not to share this latest development with y'all. Eric... Eric said "I love you" to me last weekend. Out loud...
  18. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Thank you! Great to share it with someone who was there for the original ride. :)
  19. AnnabelMore

    the story of a secondary

    Over the last few days, prompted by some emotions that felt like they echoed old things I'd already worked through, I've been rereading this blog. Just finished up. Five years of writing, started almost a dozen years ago and wrapped up over seven years ago. Five years of really excellent...
  20. AnnabelMore

    Consent: What if it's Not Required?

    That sounds like a reasonable way to proceed, if one chooses to engage in a contractual style of relating. The conversation in this thread has reinforced for me that I'm much better suited to the model of relationship anarchy, personally (no judgment meant towards anyone else).
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